


Entangled

by nevvy



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Dubious Consent, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-21 13:56:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 21
Words: 31,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16577810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevvy/pseuds/nevvy
Summary: Set in 2017. Robert seeks Aaron’s help as Lawrence didn’t take no for an answer.Edit: Started as a one off and it’s now growing into a story of its own.





	1. Chapter 1

‘I didn’t know who else to call.’

The voice on the phone is scared, fragile, it doesn’t hold. It’s the middle of the night and Aaron is not properly awake. At first, he doesn’t understand what the whole thing is about, all he hears is “Lawrence”, “hotel room” and “alcohol”. It doesn’t make sense, not three in the morning, not when you’ve been up late yourself. Not when the person on the other side of the line is weeping, stuttering and going silent all of a sudden. 

‘Could you just... could you just go through this again?’ Aaron asks, trying to shake the tiredness off.

The line goes quiet again and Aaron is starting to think that Robert has hung up when he speaks again.

‘I was drunk and I didn’t want to. I was drunk because I didn’t want to but he wouldn’t listen.’ There is more sobbing and despite being newly awoken and somewhat confused, Aaron starts to get the picture. Even if it feels surreal. The thought that flashes in his mind is that this might be another of Robert’s schemes, maybe Robert trying to get some pity and in a some twisted way trying to win Aaron back. He pushes the thought away for now but it lingers in the back of his mind. 

‘What did he do, Robert?’

‘We... he had sex with me. I didn’t want it but he had sex with me.’

Aaron lets out a sigh. This is going to be a long night. Beside him, in the double bed, Alex is snoring, changing his position as Aaron sits up. Keeping the phone close to his ear, Aaron gets up and leaves the bedroom quietly. The last thing he wants is to wake his boyfriend up, Alex being already jealous of Robert even though Robert is not a part of Aaron’s life anymore. Or so Aaron thought anyway.

‘Where are you now?’

‘In my car. Outside the pub.’

‘You said you were drunk, Rob. Have you been driving?’ It comes out a little bit more harsh than Aaron has intended but Robert should know better than that.

‘I couldn’t stay there, I... I’m sorry for bothering you, I just wanted to...’

‘No, it’s fine. Hold on there, I’m coming. Don’t go anywhere, promise me that, okay?’

‘Okay.’

Aaron gets quickly dressed and grabs the car keys. He’s had two beers, maybe he shouldn’t be driving either but he realises he’s got no choice. Hoping Alex won’t wake up before the morning, he puts his jacket on and leaves the house with mixed feelings. Trust Robert to mess up again, why is he unable to keep himself from trouble? And why does his trouble always ricochets off Aaron? No matter how much Aaron is trying to keep his sanity by putting a distance between himself and Robert, he always ends up being dragged into Robert’s life. What does it take for this to stop, shall he move somewhere else altogether? Aaron doubts it.

Robert is sitting in his Porsche, looking completely disheveled, his shirt not properly buttoned up, his hair messy, his hands shaking and a strong smell of alcohol in the air as Robert winds down the side window. Aaron has never seen him in such a state. One thing is certain, this is no scheme, this is for real. 

‘How are you feeling?’ he asks, going around the car and climbing in on the passenger’s side.

‘I don’t know. I suppose... I’m angry at myself for this...I lead him on.’

‘You can’t blame yourself, Rob.’ Aaron knows it’s a dangerous path Robert is stepping on and he needs to do everything in his power to stop him thinking it was his fault. 

‘You don’t understand... I...’ Robert winces as he shifts his position. Not only rape but a rough one as well then.

‘You need to get yourself checked, do you want me to drive you to the hospital?’ 

‘No, no, no, no, no, no hospitals’ Robert sounds panicked.

‘You’re in pain and you need to report this to the police.’

‘I can’t. I can’t. You don’t understand, this is my fault Aaron.’

‘How can it be your fault, Robert? Even if you were drunk, if you didn’t want this then it still was rape. What is it I don’t understand?’

Robert breathing becomes hitched and Aaron worries he will hyperventilate soon, he recognises the symptoms so well. 

‘Hey, just easy, okay? Just take it easy, breathe with me, in and out, in and out, just try, Robert.’ 

Aaron pats his back shoulder lightly, Robert sheds from the touch at first but relaxes soon, letting Aaron help him to calm down. Good, Aaron thinks, as he’s not sure if he would’ve able to handle a panic attack.

‘I... I made the impression that... that we’ve... we’ve slept together for a... couple of weeks... ago. And I... I tried to take over the... the company.. I was pretending I was... I was interested in him.’ It comes out through the tears and hiccups at last. ‘We were in a hotel room earlier today and he wanted... but my phone rang and we... got interrupted, it.. it was Vic thank god, Rebecca was giving birth and... we went there together and then in the evening he was celebrating and... it was so much champagne and I... I just relaxed too much and let my guard down and.. and he picked up... where he had left before when...oh god... I couldn’t stop him... I was trying Aaron, I was trying to tell him...he wasn’t listening...’

Aaron is trying to make sense of what Robert is saying but it sounds so wrong, it sounds so wicked. At the same time, it fits the pattern perfectly. Robert going into the self destructive mode as soon as he thinks he’s got nothing to loose. If he only been able to make his ex boyfriend understand that this behaviour will leave him completely alone some day, wondering what went wrong, bitter and angry at himself for not realising sooner that he’s pushing people away. 

‘You mean you and him? You had a relationship with Lawrence? Is that what you’re saying?’ Aaron’s got it hard to believe this. Jeez, this is really taking it to the extremes, scoring a hat trick at the Whites household. Part of Aaron just wants to hug Robert and tell him it’s gonna be okay. Another part of him is disgusted with this, thinking that this time Robert has really overstepped the line. What’s wrong with the man for goodness sake?!

‘I made him think so. And he thought... he thought I wanted to... but I didn’t... I didn’t and he wouldn’t listen...’

What a mess. What an utter mess this whole thing is. But mess or no mess, if Robert didn’t want to have sex, it still counts as a rape. The hardest part now is to convince him that’s the case.

‘Are you in pain? Or why am I asking, it’s obvious that you are. You need to have it checked, Robert. I know you don’t want to involve the police but please, at least have it checked, okay?’

Robert looks down at his hands, it’s obvious he’s ashamed as he doesn’t want to look Aaron in the eye. 

‘Would you come with me?’ The question is barely audible, as if Robert is scared of what the answer would be.

‘Actually I should go back home, Alex will wonder...’

Robert’s face falls hearing these words. Aaron knows that it doesn’t matter what he chooses to do now, someone is going to get hurt whatever the decision would be. Damn Robert and his scheming! 

‘I see. I’m sorry for causing trouble, you’d better go home before...’

‘And what will you do? You can’t stay here, where do you live nowadays?’

‘Home Farm. But I can’t go back. I’ll stay in the car until the morning and maybe ask Vic tomorrow if I could use her sofa for a couple of days.’

‘You know I can’t leave you here. I wouldn’t leave anyone in situation like this, I wouldn’t be able to go back to bed knowing you’re here alone. Let’s make a deal, I’ll drive you to the hospital and you let them have a look, okay? I’ll talk to Alex tomorrow, I’m sure I can think of some excuse for this. Don’t worry, I won’t tell him about you and Lawrence.’

Robert considers for a while and to Aaron’s relief he agrees. They switch places and head towards Hotten General.

 

After waiting in the A&E for two hours, they are finally being shown to a examination room. Aaron wants to stay outside, it’s the right thing to do as he’s not family anymore but Robert seems so lost and as he pleads him to stay, Aaron can’t refuse. He’s trying not to look as the doctor takes the gloves on and asks Robert to lay on his side with his knees drawn to his chest.

‘Just take a deep breath for me and relax, okay. It might feel a little unpleasant but I’ll try to be gentle. I understand you don’t want to involve the police, is that right?’ The doctor’s voice is warm and soothing, Aaron is grateful for that. He knows not all the hospitals know how to deal with male rape, it’s still a taboo in many places.

Robert doesn’t look like he’s relaxed, he’s gripping the sides of the bed so hard his knuckles are white. The doctor sees it, thank god and stops the preparations for a while.

‘I understand it is hard to you. But it will only take a few seconds and then you’re free to go, okay? We have a counsellor on duty if you need to talk to someone afterwards. Is it okay with you if I continue?’

‘Yes.’

Aaron turns his head away but he can’t block the hissed breath as the doctor spreads Robert’s buttcheeks. He’s trying to think about the excuse he will have to think of for Alex’s sake, but can’t concentrate, hearing Robert whimper.

‘Does that hurt? Do you want me to stop?’ the doctor asks.

‘No, just get over with it.’

The doctor inserts a proctoscope and Robert whimpers again. Aaron wishes he just could get out of here, not being forced to witness this. It hits too close to home. 

It takes another a minute or so and it’s done, Robert being allowed get up and get dressed. First now Aaron notices that his ex is shaking, the reality of the situation hitting him with a delay. Aaron can’t stop himself from rushing to Robert’s side, offering help with putting the clothes back on.

‘There is some tearing just in the entrance’ the doctor speaks as both of the men are sitting in front of her again. ‘But it doesn’t need stitches. I will have an ointment prescribed for you, it’s a mild anaesthetic that will help with the pain if there is any. Be thorough with the hygiene and it should heal nicely within few days. I can call the counsellor and ask him to come here if you want. Or you can have his number and call yourself.’

‘There is no need. I just want to go home now.’

‘You could stay here this night if you’re not feeling well. You seem shaken, we can admit you for the rest of the night if you want.’ 

Aaron prays Robert takes the offer, then he would be someone else’s problem. It is selfish to think so and Aaron hates himself for that but what can he do otherwise? It’s not like he can take Robert home with him, is it?

‘No. Thanks but I’ll be fine.’

‘Are you sure, Rob? Maybe at least take the counsellor’s number?’

‘No, it was not a part of the deal. I want to go now.’ Robert sounds exhausted, he can barely stand straight and he’s got no home to go to. Aaron wonders if he’s got any plan as for what to do or is it just the irrational side of him speaking now.

‘Give us a call if you need. And take contact with the counsellor, it really helps to talk about these things’ the doctor says as she leaves the room.

Robert stands still for a while, as if unsure of what to do next. He doesn’t even have a coat, Aaron thinks, and it’s cold outside. 

‘Where do you want me to drive you? Shall we go to Home Farm, you need spare clothes.’

‘No. I’ll let you off by the pub so you can go home. Don’t worry about me, I’ll think of something. Seriously Aaron, I’m really grateful for your help but I can manage now.’

‘Like hell you do! Have you seen the state of yourself? You won’t be driving a mile like this, it’s not only your own life you would be risking then. 

‘You’re probably right... Drop me off at Vic, I hope she will let me stay at theirs for a couple of days.’

‘Shouldn’t we give her a call first? And what are you going to do about Lawrence?’ Maybe it’s not the best timing but Aaron hopes that Robert can stay away from the Whites at last.

‘I’ll have to face him sooner or later... he fell asleep soon after the... I don’t know if he realised I left... he doesn’t know... I guess he thinks it’s ok between us... I’ll have to go back there eventually...’

‘You out of your mind?! How do you exactly imagine that, huh? Will you be playing happy family with them after this? It will eat you alive, Rob!’

‘What else can I do then?!!! I’ve got no home, no money, no one else waiting for me. What am I supposed to do?!!!!!’

Oh, this is too much for Aaron to handle half six in the morning, with a hanging prospect of an angry boyfriend waiting at him at home. At the same time, he’s angry at Robert for not seeing where this is leading him.

‘You’ll go to Vic and send someone to get your stuff from the Whites. That’s what you’re going to do. And money, well, you can get a job like us mortals, what about that? Please, I don’t want another phone call from you in the middle of the night saying something even worse has happened. I don’t want to be constantly worried about you. Don’t you see that none of this is good for you? When will you realise that you have crossed the line you shouldn’t even have approached? Please, Robert stop this. For your own sake, for your family’s sake. No good will come out of it.’

Robert is silent, he seems lost in himself, maybe Aaron’s words have finally impact on him? 

‘Drop me off at Vic’s’ he says, his voice flat. ‘You can just leave the car outside the pub, I’ll get it later.’

Aaron knows better than to push anymore. He drives Robert to Vic and helps him get out of the car. The night has turned to day and it’s time to face the consequences at home as well. 

‘Thank you. I really mean it. I know I shouldn’t drag you into this, just forget about it, okay?’

‘Promise me you won’t go back there. Seriously, Rob, don’t go back to them.’

‘You know I can’t’ and he walks away. 

Aaron watches as Robert knocks on Victoria’s and Adam’s door and how Robert’s sister opens after a while. He drives away as the door closes thinking he’d never be free of Robert. With things as they are he would constantly be worried about him. Aaron doesn’t want that, he wants to put this relationship behind him once for all but he guesses it won’t be the case. They are forever entangled together.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, I meant to write a one shot but since some of you want me continuing this then I will.

Ten missed calls from Lawrence. Three from Rebecca. One from Chrissie. And a text from Aaron. It’s ten am and Robert needs painkillers.

He doesn’t even want to read the text, knowing what it will be about so he presses delete directly. He tries to stretch his muscles out but the sofa has been way too short for him and he aches all over. He can’t stay here, this is not a solution, this is running away from a problem he would have to face, sooner or later. The later the better, Robert thinks, even if he knows it’s not entirely up to him. 

He gets up slowly, his body protesting against every movement, making him feel like an old man. Gosh, this is not going to be a fun day. He drags himself to the bathroom, grateful that Victoria’s not around. She wasn’t happy opening the door early in the morning, just to find him on her doorstep. She didn’t ask a lot of questions, thankfully but she was wondering what this all was about. He’d lied saying he’d got cold feet about being a father, seeing she wasn’t buying it. But she didn’t push.

Robert looks at himself in the tiny bathroom mirror and is not happy with the sight that greets him. No wonder Aaron was worried about him. If only he could just go back to Aaron! The only person in the whole world he wants and the only person he will never be able to be with again. It was foolish contacting him last night, Robert was shaken and not thinking clearly but he promises himself now that he will not do it again. Let Aaron live his life in peace, let him be happy, not dragged in Robert’s miserable life once again. Aaron is his conscience and conscience is what Robert doesn’t need right now. He swallows the tears as he wonders what Aaron must think of him, about the life he’ll never live with his one and true love by his side. But so be it, Robert has started something and needs to finish it. And damn the consequences!

He feels awful and he just hopes it will help with a shower now. He was longing for it once Victoria’d let him in but didn’t want to raise her suspicions so he curled himself up on the sofa and fell asleep.

He steps into the shower and the memories of the last night come back at once, not giving him a chance to brace himself and build a wall against them. One look at his thighs and he feels Lawrence’s hands digging into them, bruising them as he goes.   
Robert’s trousers had been ripped away at that point, not gently as it was promised, but forcefully, pure lust steering Lawrence’s actions. Pure, surpassed lust. He remembers being pushed back onto the bed countless times as he was trying to free himself, feeling sick from the champagne and knowing he wasn’t able to stop what was coming. The coldness of the lube pressed into his entrance, followed by a thick finger. And the pain when he tried to move away. Lawrence must have taken his whimpers for encouragement because one finger was followed by two and then the older man’s hard member. By that time Robert was completely paralysed, knowing that the struggle would bring even more pain. The words ‘I don’t want this’ caught up in his throat. But the mattress was too soft and lying face down, Robert was starting to suffocate so when the panic kicked in, he made one last try to get the older man off himself. It didn’t work because Lawrence pushed even harder saying something about that he liked it rough as well.

Then the words whispered in Robert’s ear like ‘finally’ and ‘I’ve been waiting so long’ and ‘you’re beautiful’.

Robert doesn’t feel beautiful, he feels dirty and cheap and disgusted by himself. There are marks after the older man’s fingers all over his body, Robert’s got no idea he bruises so easily. He turns the water on, scrubbing himself as thorough as he can, but the smell of Lawrence’s perfume lingers anyway. And all the time there is this pressing thought that he must go back. He has sacrificed himself and he can’t go empty handed. It makes him feel like a whore but he has already overstepped this line. There is no going back now.

He’s finally out of the shower when his phone rings again. Robert’s hand shakes as he slides his finger across the screen to answer.

‘Where are you, I’ve been worried about you’ Lawrence’s voice is full of concern that Robert doesn’t want. ‘I’m going to get Rebecca and the baby from the hospital, I was thinking you could join me. I never noticed you going out yesterday, I must have fallen asleep, I seem to be no match for a young and fit man like you, haha. Is everything okay? You are so quiet.’

No, it’s not okay, don’t ever contact me again, Robert wants to shout out. But instead he manages to say ‘I’m sorry, I just... I can wait for you at Home Farm instead, I’ve got few errands to run... first.’

‘Is everything okay, Robert?’

‘Yes, I’m just... I’m just overwhelmed, that’s all. A lot has happened in the last few days.’

‘Don’t worry, you’ll get used to this. And I understand it feels like this to you but I’ll do everything I can to help you. See you soon, darling.’

Darling! He’s not anyone’s darling! The only person Robert wants to call him like that has been wise enough to move on.

‘Yeah, can’t wait.’ Oh, try harder, Robert, he tells himself. If he wants to turn this into his own advantage he would need to show more affection even if it means choking on it.

Robert rushes to the bathroom after the call is finished and throws up violently in the toilet. His head in pounding and an unwanted feeling of anxiety spreads all over his body. He manages to calm down enough to leave the bathroom and fetches the painkillers and a glass of water. After a while the headache starts to subside, leaving him exhausted and wanting only to lay down and never wake up. 

But he can’t do it. What he needs to do instead is to brush his teeth, write a note to Vic, thanking her for letting him stay the night and prepare himself to enter the lion’s den.


	3. Chapter 3

Hoping for a quiet evening with a beer or two, Aaron drags Alex to the Woolpack. It is a kind of a peace offer as well, Alex still not happy with him for the night before last. Aaron had to make up a quick lie about helping Robert with his car that had broken down when Robert was on the way to the hospital to visit Rebecca. A poor lie and Aaron is not sure that Alex believes it but it has to be enough for now.

As they enter the pub, there is a lot of people there and alcohol coming from all directions, as it seems. It’s loud and it looks like a celebration. And in the middle of it all, there is Lawrence, laughing and buying rounds to everyone, beaming with pride. Aaron has never seen him so happy and before he notices who’s sitting next to him, thinks it’s the celebration for Rebecca’s baby. But then his eyes fall upon silhouette next to Lawrence. It’s Robert, looking as if he was being led to the gallows. Aaron can’t help but notice Lawrence’s hand on Robert’s thigh, caressing it casually. 

‘Oh, Aaron!’ Lawrence exclaims as he spots him in the crowd. ‘I didn’t have a chance to thank you for driving Rebecca to the hospital. I’m so thankful, you should know that. Let me buy you a drink as a gesture of gratitude.’

‘No, thanks, I...’

‘I insist. To your friend as well. What do you want?’ Lawrence smiles friendly.

‘Two beers then.’ Alex is quicker than Aaron on this. ‘And thank you.’

‘You’re welcome. Robert, dear, would you take care of it, here’s my wallet.’

Robert gets up and heads towards the counter. What the hell, Aaron thinks. He can’t be...?

‘Lager or ale?’ The question is asked in a flat voice, Robert not even looking at Aaron. Alex has found an empty table and is making himself comfortable there, waving for Aaron to join him.

‘What do you think you’re doing?’ Aaron hisses in Robert’s ear, confused by the situation.

‘Buying you lager. Or is it ale?’

‘Robert, for God’s sake! Why are you with him?’ 

‘None of your business, actually. I won’t ask a third time. About the beer, I mean.’

‘Lager. Two. And don’t tell me you are back at the Home Farm?’

Robert order two beers, completely ignoring Aaron’s question. He looks resolute and it makes Aaron worry about what the outcome of this whole mess will be. But Alex is waving again so Aaron’s got no choice but to go back to his boyfriend.

‘Generous of Lawrence’ Alex comments as Aaron puts the beer in front of him. ‘He must be proud seeing the family enlarge.’

‘I guess he is.’

‘And Robert has finally found his place, good for him. And good for you, now you don’t have to worry about him anymore. He seems to have found a family of his own.’

If only he knew, Aaron thinks. He sips his beer wondering what the hell Robert is playing at, what he is doing so close to Lawrence and if he’s out of his mind. Yesterday he was badly shaken and Aaron was hoping this was a wake up call for him but it doesn’t seem to be the case. This won’t end well, you don’t have to be a psychic to figure it out.

But he doesn’t need to wonder anymore because Lawrence, somewhat intoxicated, rises up all of the sudden saying ‘It’s not only the birth of my grandson we’re celebrating here tonight. I need to make a confession, I’ve been in love with someone for quite a long time and today he,’ Lawrence looks at Robert lovingly ‘he let me make it public. I would therefore like to announce to you all that Robert and I are getting married next year.’

There is silence in the pub for a second and then the cheering explodes. Aaron almost chokes on his beer and Alex needs to hit him on his back to help him get it out.

‘Well, that was some news. He moved on rather quickly, don’t you think?’

Aaron is not sure he’s able to breathe. He needs to talk to Robert and he needs to do it now. 

‘I guess I should congratulate them then’ he says to Alex, hoping the other man doesn’t notice the trembling voice.

‘Send my love to them as well. Maybe they’ll buy us more beer, huh?’ Alex chuckles. Aaron wants to vomit.

He squeezes himself through the crowd and heads in Robert’s direction. Lawrence can’t keep his hands from his man to be; seeing it and knowing what happened last night makes Aaron sick. He needs to stop this, Robert can’t seriously be thinking of marrying his rapist. 

‘You’re here to wish us well us, I suppose?’ Lawrence is still beaming. ‘I promise I’ll make a decent man out of him.’

Putting a false smile on his face, Aaron mumbles congratulations. Robert looks at him with a defiance in his eyes but Aaron suspects it’s all a mask. He wonders how far Robert is going to take the charade to and what price he will have to pay for it.

Chrissie turns up, looking as impressed as Aaron feels and takes Lawrence on the side. It would be fascinating to hear that conversation but Aaron is left alone with Robert for a short while and needs to seize his chance.

‘The toilet in five. We need to talk. You’d better turn up’ he whispers hoping no one but Robert hears.

 

He’s waiting in the toilet, loosing hope that Robert will come. But after ten minutes, the older man finally comes in, looking even more pale than before.

‘What the hell, Robert?’ Aaron doesn’t waste time for small talk. ‘What is this suppose to mean?!’

‘It’s my life and in case you’ve forgotten, you are not in a position to tell me what to do.’

Robert seems calm but Aaron sees that he’s trembling.

‘Yes, but to marry him?! He raped you the other day in case you’ve forgotten!’

‘Shhhh, keep your voice down, will you? I shouldn’t have called you, it was nothing, me and Lawrence talked about it today and it was a misunderstanding. He asked me to marry him and I agreed. That’s all.’

‘I don’t know who you are trying to convince here, Rob, but I’m not buying it. You were broken over this the last time I checked and now you’re telling me it was a misunderstanding? Just listen to yourself, will you?’ 

’I don’t need to explain myself in front of you. Just let it go, Aaron. Go on and live your life and let me live mine.’

And he’s gone before Aaron’s got time to answer.


	4. Chapter 4

Robert takes a deep breath as he leaves the pub. Luckily, no one seems to notice him going out, Lawrence is busy talking to Chrissie who is furious over the whole situation. She’s got every right to be, Robert’s got to give her that. He doesn’t even want to think what Lachlan is going to say finding out who his grandfather has proposed to. Robert would laugh his guts out if he was mere an observer and not the central character of this tragedy.

He needs the fresh air, being in the pub so close to Lawrence makes him feel like he would suffocate anytime soon. Feeling the older man’s touch on his body is enough for Robert to want to turn around and run as fast as he can. And not being able to do this is pure torture.

But it’s unavoidable, he knows that. He needs to stick to the plan now, especially when it’s not just about himself anymore. The bundle Rebecca came home yesterday with is his responsibility now as well. His son. The child he didn’t want is now present in every one of Robert’s thoughts. How can you love someone so much even though you’ve just met them? Knowing he would never have a chance to provide for the child otherwise, he’s stuck up with the Whites. They can keep him as hostage against Robert and he would do as they say, they have an upper hand and he knows it. That’s why he needs to go along with the plan of marrying Lawrence, making him dependable of Robert. Even if the price is his own sanity.

He would kill for a cigarette now, something to calm down his nerves. He doesn’t smoke now but he used to do it back in the days and he’s yearning on something that would help him control his breathing. The memories of the assault come back now and a single thought of going back inside and let Lawrence treat him like a trophy of some sort makes him sick again. And the hurt in Aaron’s eyes earlier... Robert knows he can’t make this mistake again, he needs to stay away from Aaron. It’s better for everyone if Aaron thinks Robert’s only after money, it will keep him away. 

He’s on his way back when he spots Chrissie coming out through the door. The first reaction is to hide but it’s too late, Chrissy is apparently looking just for him.

‘There you are, what should I call you now, huh? My stepdad? You’ve already been my husband and nearly my brother in law and now you are about to be my stepfather. Do you realise how pathetic it all is?’ There is so much venom in her voice and if looks could kill Robert would have been dead the second she laid her eyes on him.

‘Well, as I happens I love your father...’

‘Just like you loved me? You know I don’t believe you, this is taking advantage of an old and confused man, Robert!’

He wasn’t that confused in bed the other night, Robert wants to say but bits his tongue instead. 

‘If I find you scheming, if I find you cheating on him, if you start playing these little games of yours again, I swear Robert, it will be the end of you. I’ll bring you down crashing so hard you will never get yourself together again. Mark my words.’

She’s really close to his face now and Robert can feel the alcohol in her breath. He doesn’t feel intimidated, not yet, but he knows he need to tread carefully. And he doesn’t want Chrissie becoming even greater enemy that she already is.

It’s no use declaring his undenied love to Lawrence here, neither trying to promise anything to Chrissie, as Robert knows she won’t believe him anyway. So he walks back towards the pub instead. It’s time to play the role of the toy-boy again. 

All eyes are on him as he comes in and Lawrence drags him to their table again.

‘I hope Chrissie wasn’t hard on you’ he says, sounding apologetically. ‘She’s so overprotective of me, after the incident with Ronnie, you know. But she means well, she just wants me to be happy.’

Robert doesn’t know anything about Ronnie and he doesn’t want to know either. 

‘Sit down, Robert, you look tired. I’ll fetch you something to drink, what do you want?’

‘Whisky. Double. If it’s not a problem.’ He puts his most charming smile on, hoping the fear he feels inside doesn’t show.

‘Of course it’s no problem, my boy. I’ll be right back.’

A deep breath, he will have to practice some breathing exercise if he wants to survive this. Hopefully Lawrence will see he’s tired today and won’t be pushing for sex, Robert’s not sure he’ll cope with this as well. Not yet.

He sweeps the whisky at one go once it stands in front of him. It burns his throat and brings tears to his eyes but after a while its lulling effect starts to make him tense down a bit. Robert makes a mental note to himself to be alert and not drink more than this, he can’t loose control again. 

‘I recon we’ll be more comfortable at home, what do you think? Snuggle up and take an early night? You look knackered.’

No, I’m safer here. The last thing I want is to go home with you, Robert thinks to himself.

‘Won’t we disturb Bex and the baby? They need sleep, maybe I’ll just...’

‘Or we can go to the hotel again. Order some food and just enjoy each other’s company?’ Lawrence is stroking Robert’s cheek, looking him deeply in the eye. Robert is terrified his disgust will show so he gets up, taking the older man’s hand.

‘Yeah, good idea. Let’s go to the hotel. An early night is exactly what I need.’

 

Robert sinks into the double bed. He’s so tired he doesn’t even bother to take his clothes off. Not that he would do it in front of Lawrence anyway, better not to tempt him.

‘Oh dear, you’re really done for tonight, aren’t you?’ asks Lawrence as he closes the door after the hotel-boy that has come with some light food. And a bottle of champagne, of course there needs to be champagne as well. The celebration is not over yet.

‘I am. I think I’m going down with something, I’ve been feeling off all day.’ The lie comes out easily as Robert doesn’t feel good at all. He hopes it’s enough to keep Lawrence at an arm’s length for tonight.

‘My poor boy. You should eat something, I haven’t seen you eating at all today. Let me help you, what do we have here? Oysters? Or those delicious salmon sandwiches?’

‘I’m not really hungry. I just want to sleep.’

‘Well, let me help you with your clothes then, you must be so uncomfortable with them on.’ And before Robert’s got a chance to protest, Lawrence starts unbuttoning his jeans. He stops seeing the bruising on Robert’s thighs.

‘Was it me who’d done this to you? I’m so sorry Robert, I didn’t realise!’ he exclaims, looking at the damage with terror.

‘It’s nothing, really... I...’

‘I’m sorry, I guess I was just so drunk on happiness I didn’t notice. Are you in pain?’

‘No, I’m fine, just tired. But I can undress myself, you don’t need to...’

‘Well, this is the least I can Robert. Just lie down and relax, I’ll take care of you.’

Easy to say. With every touch of the older man’s fingers, Robert is being reminded of his ordeal. He wants to kick and shout, grab his things and run but all he does instead is bitting his lip, trying to look happy. Lawrence seems to be aroused by the situation, he’s got this grin all over his face, the same grin that Robert saw the other day. And the perfume is as strong as back then. 

Robert closes his eyes in an attempt to block it all out but the world seem to spin then so he is forced to open them again. Lawrence is fiddling with his shirt now, taking his time as he draws circles on Robert’s chest at the same time.

‘You look so hot Robert, even when you’re this tired. Are you sure you don’t feel like... you know?’

‘I’m not well, please, I just want to get some sleep. I’m sorry if I’m disappointing you but...’

‘Oh no, you’re not. It’s me who should be sorry, of course you need your rest. Sleep Robert, I hope you’ll be feeling better tomorrow.’

Robert curls up on his side of the bed, wrapping the duvet tightly around him. He’s not sure if he dares falling asleep but the exhaustion takes its toll in the end and he falls into fitful sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

The breakfast is a treat, cooked with fresh sausages and first class bacon. Aaron’s got no idea Alex likes a full English breakfast, he strikes him more like a cereal guy. But he supposes it’s meant for him and appreciates the effort.

‘What an evening’ Alex is saying from behind the newspaper. ‘I guess the whole village’s got something to talk about in a couple of days now.’

Yeah, what an evening. The weirdest in months, that’s for sure. Somewhere, deep down in Aaron’s heart, the pain caused by yesterday’s news is starting to spread. He’d never thought Robert would move on so fast, telling him to back off as well. Aaron’s not sure why Robert is playing this game, it can’t be an attempt to make him jealous, can it? It’s taking it a step too far, if so is the case.

But why should he do it otherwise? When he called Aaron for two days ago, he was in a verge of a breakdown. What has happened since then? Why is Robert putting himself in danger by agreeing to this marriage? Isn’t he aware that none of the other Whites are happy to see him back as a family? Chrissie looked like she could kill him yesterday. And Lachlan... you can never be sure of what is going on in this big head of his. The whole thing is just madness, Robert’s not stupid, he should realise it himself. But if he does, why is he letting this to continue? Is it really only about money?

Alex’s saying something and Aaron is interrupted in his trail of thoughts.

‘Sorry, you were saying?’

‘I was asking if you want to go for a beer in Hotten later today? My shift ends at four, I thought we could go out. I’m free tomorrow so we’ll have no rush to get back home.’ He smiles at Aaron and he really has got a gorgeous smile. Even if there is someone else Aaron would rather see sitting opposite him and smiling now. Not that he would ever admit it, even to himself.

‘Sure, sounds great. Shall I pick you up?’

‘I’d love that.’

 

Aaron can’t concentrate. Whatever he does, whatever he is trying to focus his thoughts on, the image of Robert beside Lawrence yesterday comes back to haunt him all the time. Is he jealous? Maybe. Is he worried? Sure as hell. He wonders how Robert’s family has reacted to the news and if there is any of them he can talk to. Victoria is Aaron’s first choice, even if she’s got problems of her own, with Adam behind bars. Aaron would like to talk to Adam, of course, but he knows better than that. Adam’s got enough on his plate as it is.

So he gives up working for today and steers his steps towards the pub. It’s quiet there now, only a few guests around.

‘Hiya, love’ Chas greets him. ‘Aren’t you supposed to be at work? Or has something happened?’

‘No, I just want a word with Vic, mum.’

‘Is this about the Robert business? Because I think you should leave it be.’

‘I just need to talk to her, okay? Can you tell her I’m waiting here?’

‘Don’t put your nose into this love, Robert’s not your problem anymore.’

‘Mum, please.’ Aaron is starting to loose patience. ‘Just let her know I’m here.’

‘Don’t tell me later I didn’t warn you’ says Chas as she disappears in the pub kitchen.

Victoria comes out a while later and Aaron doesn’t even need to bother with small talk here either.

‘Do you know who put this idea into his head?’ She’s furious, to put it mildly.

‘No. I don’t get it either. He doesn’t seem happy with this either but he would never admit it.’

‘Did you talk to him, did you ask him why? He didn’t want to talk to me, I haven’t seen him since he knocked on my door the other day. Left a note later, would you believe it? And then nothing until I hear from Chas that he’s getting married! And with Lawrence, of all people!’

‘I talked to him briefly yesterday, he basically told me to mind my own business.’ Aaron is still battling with his mind if he should tell Vic why Robert was at her doorstep.

‘He must be mad, that’s what it is. They talk you know, the whole village. I’m a sister of a male whore right now. Someone earlier today wondered when Robert would sleep with Lachlan as well. I mean, what the hell is he thinking?!’

If Aaron wants some help from Victoria, he needs to fill her in, he sees it now. And he’ll be needing an ally if he’s about to help Robert out of this mess. He might have dumped him, he might have been disappointed at him and had his heart broken by him, but Aaron knows that he still loves Robert. He will always do. He’ll never be free if him, even if he manages to get a happy life with someone else. The phone call the other day was a cry for help and Aaron would never forgive himself if he ignored it. 

He is not really sure how to begin but Victoria sees there is something wrong.

‘You’d better tell me, Aaron. Why are you here exactly?’

‘For two days ago, when Robert asked if he could stay the night at yours... I gave him a lift there. He called me few hours earlier, saying Lawrence had raped him...’

‘What? Are you serious?’ 

‘I wouldn’t joke about something like this, would I? Anyway, I took him to the A&E because he was in pain and they checked him over.’ Aaron swallows hard as he thinks of that night. ‘And then I wanted him to promise he would stay away from the Whites but he refused. He agreed to spend the night at yours but apparently he’s back with Lawrence.’

Victoria is stunned, not saying a word. 

‘That’s not all.’ Aaron continues. ‘Robert told me that he had made Lawrence think they had been in a relationship by pretending to have slept with him when Lawrence was drunk. So the bastard thinks they were a couple and that Robert wanted sex.’

‘But why, Aaron? Why would he do this?’

‘I don’t know. I’ve been thinking, you see, maybe he just doesn’t think he’s got anything to loose? It can’t be only about the money, he’s greedy but he wouldn’t do this to himself, not for that reason.’

‘I have to talk to him and get this stupid idea out of his head, no matter what fuels it. He can’t be doing this, he just can’t.’

‘I don’t know, Vic, I think we’ll have to outsmart him on this. I don’t believe talking would do, I tried yesterday, didn’t I? We have to come up with a plan.’


	6. Chapter 6

It feels like a doomsday. It’s the first time Robert will be facing Lachlan and Rebecca since the proposal. To say he’s nervous is to say nothing at all. 

Last night, Lawrence let him be, falling asleep himself after a while. He was still sleeping when Robert woke up so he could sneak out to the bathroom and shower before Lawrence was up. It felt safer once the clothes were on. They ate breakfast in the hotel room and now it’s time to go home. Robert ponders if he will ever be able to call Home Farm ‘home’ and what it will take to avoid Chrissie and Lachlan as much as possible. Home is a place that is supposed to be a safe harbour. And ‘home’ in this case is Lawrence’s territory.

‘You still look pale’ Lawrence says as he opens the passenger door to his car. ‘Here, get in, I’ll drive. Are you sure you’re okay?’

‘Fine. No need to worry, really. I guess I’m... I guess I’m nervous. You know, I’m not sure how Rebecca will react...’

‘Leave her to me. And Lucky. Don’t worry, you are a member of our family right now, you’ve got the same rights as they do. It’ll be alright, Robert.’

The house is quiet as they enter, the only sound coming from the ticking clock. Robert relaxes a bit, trying to prepare himself for the verbal attack he knows he would suffer, at least from Lachlan’s side. No love lost between those two and Chrissie’s son is surely not happy about the situation, just like his mother. 

‘Hello!’ Lawrence calls out. ‘Is anyone home?’

Neither of them expects the attack. In one second they are taking their jackets off, in the next a figure shots out from behind the double door to the living room, throwing itself at Robert who is taken by surprise and falls backwards, hitting his head on the table behind him. Lawrence shouts something but Lachlan is not listening, he kicks Robert with all the force he can summon. 

Robert tries to get up, dizzy from the force of the blow, but Lachlan won’t let him, he’s a strong lad, he must have been working out lately. Robert’s no match for him, not in his current condition. The only thing he can do to soften the blows is to cover his head with his arms.

Lachlan is on his knees now, grabbing Robert by his sweater and shaking him. In the corner of his eye, Robert sees Lawrence coming to the rescue, doing all he can to pull his grandson away. Somewhere inside the house a baby is crying and a door opens. Then there’s nothing.

 

He comes around as someone is stroking his cheek gently. His eyes won’t open at first, the eyelids too heavy to move. There are sounds around him, beeping and hushed voices, it doesn’t add up. What is this irritating, beeping sound? Can someone stop it? Is it an alarm clock? Why?

Robert opens his eyes at last and they fall upon Lawrence’s concerned face. Why does he look at him like that? 

‘Thank god you’re awake! How are you feeling?’

How is he feeling? Where is he? And why does his head hurt so much?

‘Robert, love, say something. Do you need anything, do you need water?’

Can’t he just stop babbling for a second?

‘What’s... what’s happened?’ Robert asks, confused. He’s not at Home Farm, that’s for sure. 

‘You don’t remember? Shall I fetch a doctor?’

‘A doctor? Why?’ What is this all about? Robert can’t seem to focus on anything and needs something for the pain, badly. How does Lawrence know he’s in pain? Is this why he wants to call a doctor? And why is the room spinning? He tries to get up but his body won’t listen.

‘Lie still, Robert, you’re on heart monitor. You got attacked, don’t you remember. Lachlan, I don’t know what flew in that boy, he beat you up really badly. I told him to get out of my sight, I won’t have him treating you like this.’

The memories start to came back, bit by bit. Sitting in the car, going to Home Farm and then someone shouting. And then the searing pain.

‘Where am I now?’

‘You’re in hospital with a concussion, darling. Nothing’s broken, thank god. But they say you should stay the night, let me fetch you a doctor, they told me to call them once you’re awake.’

‘No, don’t..’ Robert tried to say but Lawrence is already gone.

He’s back though, some minutes later, with a doctor that looks familiar. Oh no, it’s Alex, Aaron’s boyfriend. Wherever he turns, whatever he does, he is being reminded of Aaron. It’s the last thing he needs right now, it’s enough with psychical pain, he doesn’t want to be reminded of his heartbreak over and over again.

‘Hello, good to see you’re awake. How are you feeling?’ Alex asks, checking Robert’s pulse. Can’t he just stop being so professional? Robert reckons Aaron’s going to find out all about this, he’ll surely be the object of the dinner conversation between Alex and his ex. 

‘Groggy. I still don’t really know what happened.’

‘That’s understandable, considering the circumstances. You’ve received a nasty beating so you’ll feel sore for a couple of days. And then there’s the concussion, nothing really serious but we’ll want to keep you overnight, just to be sure you’re alright. Is that fine with you?’

‘Sure. Need painkillers though.’

‘I just want to take a look first, can you follow my finger with your eyes?’

Robert tries but starts feeling sick almost instantly and looks away.

‘Need to lay down’ he says quietly. ‘Sick.’

‘Lay on your side in case you’ll throw up. I’ll fetch something for the nausea, hold on a minute.’

Lawrence moves closer, playing with Robert’s fingers. He looks so devastated Robert starts to feel sorry for him, Lachlan’s a psycho and who would want a psycho grandson. And there are the consequences of this as well, how is Lawrence going to keep Lachlan away from Robert now? 

‘Chrissie asked me to beg you for not pressing charges for this. I don’t know, the boy needs to be taught a lesson but it will break poor Chrissie’s heart to see him behind bars again...’

‘It’s okay’ Robert manages to creak out. ‘I won’t. As long as... as long as he stays away from me.’ 

‘Oh, I’ll keep him away, I was thinking about buying him a flat anyway. I promise he won’t hurt you anymore.’ Something is telling Robert that Lachlan’s not going to like this.

Few minutes later, Robert is lying as comfortably as he can, being administered Tylenol for the headache. He floats away, thinking this is still better than sex with Lawrence. His drugged mind thinks he won’t sue Lachlan, he should thank him instead.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Achtung, achtung, a bit of unwanted porn coming your way ;)  
> I hate myself for writing this (or not ;)) but I’m trying to push Robert over the edge, the envious bastard is not budging though...

He’s still sore the day after, he can barely walk. Lawrence fetches a wheelchair and wheels him out of the hospital and all the way to the car. Robert needs aid to get in as well, his ribs hurt with every breath he takes and his head feels like it weighted a ton.

Sitting securely strapped and covered in blankets, he dozes off as Lawrence drives to Home Farm. When he wakes up, he’s alone in the car and for a second he can’t recall what he’s doing here. Then Rebecca comes out, carrying the baby.

‘Shit, Robert, this doesn’t look good. How are you feeling?’ She seems genuinely concerned, he’s glad for that. 

‘Been better. Where’s your dad?’

‘Inside, he didn’t want to wake you. Do you want to say hi to Sebastian?’

‘Who’s Sebastian?’ Robert feels confused, it must be the painkillers. 

‘Our son, silly you. I’ve decided to call him Sebastian, what do you think, isn’t it a pretty name?’

Oh, thanks for that. ‘Our son’ but she’s deciding herself. Is this how co-parenting with Rebecca going to be like? But then again, is he in a place to oppose?

‘I’d love to, but, hey, wait, what are you doing?’ He freaks out when Rebecca just hands over the baby, he can’t trust himself to hold him properly as he’s still shaky from both the pain and the drugs.

‘Isn’t he gorgeous?’ Jeez, Rebecca is so different, it doesn’t suit her. Her looks don’t suit her either as it must be the first time Robert sees her without makeup, with some baggy clothes on. It this what having a baby does to you? He knows it could be life changing, maybe with Rebecca being a new person he could have her as an ally in the house? Robert knows well enough he won’t be able to resist both hers and Chrissie’s attacks if these two decide to build an alliance against him. Maybe he can at least win Rebecca over?

‘He is. Look at those tiny hands with fingernails and all.’ The baby boy really is beautiful, he seems so content, unaware of the drama unfolding around him. Robert wishes he could spare his son all this and he promises himself he will, at all cost. 

Lawrence comes back as Rebecca takes baby Seb in her arms.

‘Let me help you out of the car, Robert. You must be in so much pain.’

This time Robert appreciates the older man’s strong arms, almost lifting him out of the vehicle. Lawrence’s got now a tight grip around Robert’s waist as he leads him to the house, taking it slowly, asking every other step is everything’s alright.

Even though he’s been aided upstairs, Robert feels completely drained as he lands on the double bed. He praises himself for asking Lawrence to bring him a T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants to the hospital, they can stay on now, he’s comfortable enough.

‘Do you want anything else? Just ask if you need help with anything, anything at all.’

‘No, I’m fine. I need rest, that’s all.’

‘Good, I’ll leave you be, I need a word with Chrissie anyway.’

Robert falls asleep before Lawrence has even left the room. 

 

He wakes up feeling someone’s hands on his chest. His first reaction is wild panic, he tries to shake the hands off but realises with fright that he can’t move, the muscles in his body are not responding.

‘No!’ he screams before realising it’s not what he is supposed to do, he’s supposed to go along with this, to reciprocate the affection. It’s too late though, the hands are being taken away and Robert feels the mattress move as Lawrence sits up.

‘What’s wrong? Did I scare you? I never thought you were so easily frightened, Robert.’

I’m not, he thinks. Just get your hands off me. I’m not scared, I’m terrified.

‘I thought... I was half dreaming, I thought it was Lachlan, I was dreaming he was back.’ Will he ever be able to stop lying? Soon he will have to make notes of everything he says to Lawrence and the rest if he wants this charade to continue, he’ll be screwed as soon as they notice he can’t keep his story straight.

‘Don’t you worry about him, I dealt with it. I talked to Chrissie as well, she was reluctant to let him move out but I told her what you told me about not pressing charges if he’s not around. It worked for now. But we’ll have to be easy on her the forthcoming days, she’s sad to see him go. Personally, I think it’s time for Lucky to stand on his own feet.’

Lawrence’s hand is back on Robert’s chest again and moving downwards. 

‘I know you’re in pain but let me kiss it better’ he says, in a voice that means to be seductive. He doesn’t even wait for an answer, instead his hand wanders down to Robert’s crotch, stroking it evenly. Just stop, please stop, Robert thinks as he can’t control his body’s reaction. Feeling the bulge getting bigger, Lawrence applies more pressure and Robert bites his lip drawing blood, its metallic taste fills his mouth, making him sick. He’s trying not to moan and encourage Lawrence even more. God, he loathes himself now. This can’t be happening, this is not happening.

‘These trousers needs to go, there are in the way’ the older man is saying. ‘You must have a headache, I know the best way to deal with it.’

It’s no use saying he’s tired and in pain. Robert grabs the sheets of the bed on both sides and prays this is over soon. Lawrence is now kneeling between his legs, taking Robert’s cock in his mouth. As he starts sucking, Robert begins to shake, not of lust as Lawrence is assuming, but of pure disgust towards his own body, betraying him like that. On the other hand he hopes the orgasm comes soon so he can put this behind him. 

But Lawrence seems to be in a teasing mood today as he stops what he’s doing and starts to put kisses all over Robert’s chest. It’s tickling and the sudden change of the body part getting unwanted attention takes Robert by surprise and he makes a moaning sound. Oh no. No, no, no. Why can’t you be quiet, Sugden?

‘I knew you’ll like it’ Lawrence is happy with himself. His mouth moves upwards this time, sucking Robert’s neck, this will surely leave a mark. Does he have a turtleneck? Robert makes a mental note to buy one. Or five. 

‘Hope your headache is gone now. And if not, it will go soon, just wait and see.’

Get over with it, for fuck’s sake. Robert needs a shower, he needs it badly even though Lawrence is not done yet. The most terrifying part is that in his current state, he would never be able to shower by himself, he would need help. Lawrence’s help. Is it too late to back away now?, his panicked mind is thinking. Can he just tell Lawrence it was a mistake, he doesn’t want this, just please let him go?

He doesn’t even have a chance to voice any of it as Lawrence is sucking him again, forcefully this time, making Robert’s body spasm. His ribcage feels like it’s going to explode soon, his head is pounding wildly, his hands shake as he squeezes the fabric of the sheets with all force he’s got left, and when the orgasm finally comes, the pain radiating from every single cell of his body makes it impossible for Robert to stay conscious anymore.

 

He’s not aware of the panic that ensues after he’s fainted, Lawrence is beside himself, tiding up as fast as he can, putting the clothes back on Robert and calling for Chrissie to come and help him. As he later refers to Robert, in this particular second Lawrence is sure Robert’s dead. But Chrissie comes and takes the lead immediately, slapping Robert on the face hard enough to bring him back. 

‘Hey, wake up’ she says, her voice sharp and cold, without any compassion whatsoever. ‘Wake up Robert, stop playing these games.’

‘Be gentle’ Lawrence is frantic. ‘Can’t you see the state of him?’

‘Not my fault you broke your toy, dad. Be more careful next time, will you? Or he won’t last till your wedding day.’

Robert wakes up eventually, the reality of what’s just happened hitting him directly.

‘Ah, the sleeping beauty is awake’ Chrissie comments, looking at him with disgust. ‘I assume you don’t need me anymore dad, don’t you ever think I’ll help you cleaning him up. Rebecca was hoping he would help with the baby this night, she’s quite tired but I assume I have to take her hopes down, huh?’

‘Not a word about this to Rebecca. She’s got the baby to think about now, don’t bother her with this.’

‘As you wish, dad. I’m sure it will come out sooner or later anyway but my lips are sealed.’

Chrissie leaves and the thought of his son makes Robert feeling even more sick. This is definitely not going as planned, he was supposed not to loose control like this. 

‘I don’t know what to say’ Lawrence is full of remorse. ‘I didn’t think you were that badly hurt, Robert. I’m sorry.’

‘You’ve been saying this a lot recently.’ Maybe he could turn this into his advantage? It’s worth a try anyway. ‘I need rest, you should see it now. I need peace and quiet and paracetamol, nothing else. Just please, please Lawrence, let me be a while, okay?’

‘Of course. Of course I will, forgive me Robert. I was thinking of myself, I was selfish but you need to understand, I love you so much and being around you makes me so happy. But seeing you unhappy breaks my heart. I’ll leave you now, I’ll sleep in the guest room and I promise I’ll make it up to you, ten times, twenty times, as much as you want. Sleep well now, love, I’ll see you tomorrow.’

When the door closes behind Lawrence, Robert grabs a pillow, puts it close to his face and screams at the top of his lungs. He screams so much he’s afraid his vocal chords will break. 

And then the tears come. He won’t survive this.


	8. Chapter 8

It’s Victoria’s idea to get help from within the Home Farm. She is aware that neither she nor Aaron have got the slightest chance of talking Robert out of this relationship. He’s not answering their calls or messages, it’s like he’s burned all bridges behind him. It’s not like him either, Victoria used to have good contact with her older brother. Something’s wrong, she feels it. But no one else, besides Aaron, seems to care. Oh Robert, she thinks, why is it so easy for you to make enemies? Why can’t you make friends instead?

She realises her brother is selfish to the bone sometimes but he’s not evil. He seemed lost after the breakup with Aaron, lost and heartbroken. But it doesn’t matter how many times he steps on the same mine, how many times he hurts people around him, even if he really doesn’t want to, he never seems to learn anything of it. He promises he’ll be better and then makes the same mistake all over again.

She is waiting for Rebecca in the cafe, eager to meet her nephew but also try to find out how it is going for Robert. Victoria only hopes he’s not scheming again, she knows the relationship with Lawrence must be a fake one but she’s crossing her fingers that Robert is not making it worse than it already is. 

Rebecca turns up eventually, her hair wild, her clothes not matching each other, but with a wide smile in her face. Victoria is so jealous right now, having a baby of her own being one of her biggest wishes. With Adam behind bars it’s not likely going to happen now.

‘How are things at home?’ she asks. ‘Are you getting any help from my brother?’

‘Why, didn’t you hear?’ Rebecca is handing Seb to her. ‘Here, here, don’t cry, mummy’s just right here.’

Victoria holds the baby close, rocking him gently. Is Robert in trouble already?

‘Hear what? Is everything alright?’ 

‘Lachlan attacked Robert, he went berserk. Got himself thrown out of the house. I can’t say I’m actually crying to see him go, if I’m to be honest. I don’t trust him.’

‘Oh god, how is Robert? Is he badly hurt?’ What the hell is he getting himself into, Victoria thinks. 

‘He was kept in hospital for a night, got a concussion but he’s back home now, dad’s going mother hen all around him. Is it only me thinking this is strange? I mean Robert and dad? I guess it’s nice to have him around, or it will be once he’s fine again, I’m hoping he could help with Seb, but I can’t really see them as a pair, can you?’ 

‘No. I don’t get any of this.’ 

Victoria doesn’t want to reveal her concern, she doesn’t want Rebecca thinking it must be a scheme (if she hasn’t thought about it herself, that is) because it could possibly put Robert in danger. 

‘What does Chrissie think about all this? She must be confused as well, I guess?’

‘She’s furious, especially now when Lachlan’s gone. She can’t keep tabs on him anymore, you see. Dad has bought him this flat in Hotten and Chrissie’s there now, helping Lachlan with the decorating but she’s not happy with this.’

Good, Victoria thinks, let her get really angry. Chrissie’s their best shot, clearly she wants Robert out of the house as much as Victoria herself. The only thing now is to find a way to fuel Robert’s ex wife’s anger.

‘I need to go Vic, have an appointment at the mother’s centre. I’ll be delighted if you could come and visit soon, Robert would surely be glad to see you as well.’

‘Absolutely, I’ll pop in tomorrow if it’s okay with you?’

‘It would be great’ Rebecca answers, putting the baby back into the pram.

Good, Vic’s got her ticket in now.

 

‘He’s not the only Sugden scheming here, I see. It must be in the blood’ Aaron laughs as Vic tells him about the meeting with Rebecca and her idea to use Chrissie for their own purpose.

‘I was thinking that I’ll go there tomorrow, mainly to check how things are. I hope I’ll be able to talk to him at least. And maybe try to take Chrissie on the side and asks her how she’s coping without Lachlan.’

‘Good idea, Vic, I knew you’ll come up with something.’ It feels better knowing he’s not the only one that’s concerned about Robert.

They are sitting in the port cabin at the scrape yard, drinking lukewarm coffee. Aaron has promised Alex a beer at the Woolpack later but he’s not really up to it. He seems to have lost the spark recently, having it hard to enjoy anything. He wonders if it’s up to Robert again and curses himself he can’t just close this chapter. Why is it so hard to let go? He knows he can’t be with Robert, not after the last time, he wouldn’t survive another heartbreak. But, at the same time, he can’t stop thinking of his ex. 

‘I hope it works.’

‘It has to since we haven’t got any other ideas. Can I ask you a question, Aaron?’ Victoria looks at him thoughtfully.

‘Sure, fire away.’

‘Why are you doing this? For Robert, I mean? Why do you still care about him?’

Aaron is silent, he knows that once he’s said one word, the rest would follow. And he doesn’t want to admit to Victoria what he really feels, what he still feels despite the hurt Robert has caused him.

‘Oh’ Vic covers her mouth with her hands. ‘You still love him, don’t you?’

What is he going to answer to that?

‘He’s my friend. He’s the person who knows me better than I know myself. And yes, I do love him, as a friend. I do care about him and I can’t believe he’s happy with where he is right now. And that’s why I can’t just stand and look. He’s not a bad person, you know it and I know it but I don’t know if he knows it himself, Vic.’

Victoria’s got tears in her eyes.

‘You know, he caused you a whole deal of a heartache but you are the only person I know who actually cares what he feels. All the others, they are just like crows, swirling around, waiting for a juicy piece of gossip. I’m glad he’s got you, Aaron.’

‘He made me the person I am now, for better or worse, I don’t know but it was him who helped me deal with the stuff with Gordon, not even mum has done do much for me as he did back then. So I can’t just see him self destruct like this, I can’t.’

‘Good’ Victoria says at last. ‘I’m glad you’re my partner in crime in this. I’ll get to Home Farm tomorrow and see what I can find out about this. Then we’ll decide what to do next.’

 

She hopes she’s not too early when she stand on the doorstep, ringing the bell. It takes a while but Lawrence opens in the end.

‘Victoria, nice to see you! Rebecca told me you were coming today, step in, they’re all in the living room. Let me take your coat.’

We’ll be family soon if Robert doesn’t abort this stupid game of his, Victoria thinks. Lawrence is not a brother in law she has ever expected. She hands him the coat and goes to the living room where Rebecca and little Seb are resting on the sofa.

‘Hi, glad you could come. I’ll do with some company, Chrissie’s been away all day and Robert hardly says a word.’

‘Where is she?’ Not good, Rebecca’s sister is supposed to be here for the plan to be put into action.

‘Hotten of course. She can’t just let Lachlan go, I suppose I’ll be the same when it’s time for this little one to leave the nest.’ Rebecca laughs.

‘Oh, is she coming back soon?’

‘Funny that you’re more interested in my sister than your own brother, you haven’t even asked about Robert yet.’

‘I just wanted to ask her a question, Chrissie I mean. About... about decorating. Since she’s helping Lachlan I thought... I thought I’ll redecorate at home as well, I like your sister’s style so I thought...’ gosh, this is hard. How do Robert keep the lies coming out so smoothly? Victoria is already sweating, hoping she won’t loose it now.

‘I could help you if you like, it’s a hobby of mine.’

‘Yeah, of course, I can take advise from both of you, yeah, that sounds great.’ A false smile and Victoria hopes Rebecca is not suspecting anything. ‘Where’s Robert?’

‘Upstairs, I think. He’s upstairs most of the time. Dad’s often there as well, I don’t know what they’re doing but I don’t want to know daddy’s dirty bedroom secrets, haha.’ She laughs somewhat nervously, probably realising first now that the other person sharing Lawrence’s bedroom secrets is Victoria’s brother.

‘I’ll go up and say hello if you don’t mind?’

‘Yeah, suit yourself, the first door on the left after the staircase. And don’t worry, I think dad’s in the kitchen so you won’t catch them doing something you maybe shouldn’t see!’

Victoria knocks light on the door, not knowing what to expect. A voice calls ‘come in’ so she pushes down the handle and steps in.

The double bedroom is dark, the curtains down and Robert lies curled up on the left  
side on the bed. He gets up clumsily as he sees her, startled.

‘What are you doing here?’

‘What has happened to your face?’ asks Victoria at the same time. ‘You look awful.’

‘Not your business anyway but it was Lachlan. He’s not overjoyed if you know what I mean.’ He winces as he speaks and Victoria wonders how he exactly feels.

‘Are you?’

‘Am I what?’

‘Overjoyed? Don’t play dumb with me Robert, I know something’s the matter. Why didn’t you tell me you are getting married? And why are you getting married in a first place? Haven’t you caused enough trouble for them here?’

Robert refuses to look her in the eye, it only confirms Victoria’s fears.

‘Did Aaron send you? Because I have already told him that this is none of his business!’

‘No one send me, you idiot. I’m your sister and I’m worried about you. You’d be worried about me as well, I hope, if I decided all of a sudden to marry a man twice my age.’

‘You don’t need to worry about me, Vic. I’m fine. I’m happy even though right now I don’t look it. Lachlan got out his frustration on me but he’s gone now and he’s not a threat anymore. Im fine, I promise.’

‘I wish I could believe you, Rob. But I can’t get my head around it, why Lawrence and why so sudden?’ She can’t reveal she knows the truth but she hopes Robert can open up to her and tell her what this really is about. 

‘I love him. He proposed and I agreed, that’s the whole truth.’

‘I don’t believe you, I’m sorry but I just don’t. Please Robert, don’t get yourself into more trouble. Promise me you’ll be careful.’

‘I promise, stop worrying. I’ll be fine. I need some rest, I still have headache after the concussion so if you could..’

‘Sure, I’ll go. But you know where to find me if you need to talk to someone, right?’

She leaves, knowing he won’t listen. It’s time for plan B.


	9. Chapter 9

Robert knows he needs to get himself together, he can’t wander around looking like a mess. The conversation with Victoria has shaken him up a bit, he didn’t expect someone else caring about him. Somewhere deep inside he had an urge to confess the truth to her but he knows that it won’t get him anywhere. He has gone too far already and even if it feels like he can break down any minute soon, he needs to find the inner strength to keep going. There is nothing, absolutely nothing else for him in the village and trying his luck somewhere else, starting all over, is not an option. Not now when he’s got Lawrence wrapped around his little finger. 

He gets up gingerly, some of his ribs must have been broken, why do they hurt so much otherwise? Maybe Alex whatever his name is, is not such a good doctor after all. He must have missed it. Well, you can’t do much about broken ribs but the longer Robert is in pain the longer it will be easier to avoid Lawrence.

The older man seems to get the message now, he’s not even touching Robert anymore, probably afraid he’ll break his husband to be. Robert can’t help but smile at this idea. Lawrence’s feelings are all over the place, he’s torn between wanting to be close to Robert and not daring to touch him. 

Robert hopes Victoria is gone by now, he needs to eat and he can’t face his sister again. Putting a brave face here, in the dark bedroom is one thing, being out in the daylight is another matter. He opens the door carefully, sticking his head out and listening for any conversations. It’s quiet so he dares leaving the room.

Going down the stairs is another challenge, he will need even more painkillers. But step by step and he’s down, panting heavily. No one here either, it seems safe to enter the kitchen now.

No, it wasn’t. Victoria is sitting by the table with sleeping Seb in her arms. She almost jumps up seeing Robert.

‘Shhh, I’ve just managed to rock him back to sleep. He’s yours if you wake him now.’

The baby in her arms suits Vic, Robert hopes she would be able to have children of her own sometime. He tiptoes around her, getting to the fridge.

‘Where’s Bex?’ he asks in hushed voice.

‘Taking a shower. I promised to mind this little cutie for a while. But it’s your job as a matter of fact, I understand you haven’t been around him so much?’

‘I can hardly walk, Vic. I don’t think I...’ The truth being, he is scared of what this little human being is doing with him. He needs to keep his distance just a little bit more, he can’t soften up, not now. 

‘You can sit with him, just like I’m doing now. I know you must be in pain but it can’t be that bad, right? Rebecca told me you won’t be pressing charges.’

‘Now, I guess I’m feeling generous recently.’

Or, more likely, I don’t want to enrage Chrissie even more.

Chrissie herself walks in as Robert has managed to take a place by the table. She seems to be in a good mood, that’s positive, even if Robert would rather see her moving out with Lachlan.

‘You’re down at last, maybe you could prove yourself useful for once? Dad’s sitting with the company papers, he needs a hand with some bills. He asked me but seeing you’re awake I will gladly let you take over. So you two can spend some time together.’ Her smile is so fake it won’t even place in a soap opera, Robert thinks. ‘Oh, hello Victoria, didn’t see you at first.’

‘The baby’ Robert hisses through his teeth. ‘Shhhh, you’ll wake him.’

‘Like you suddenly started to care about him, where have you been up till now, huh?’ Chrissie fires back.

It’s too late, Seb’s already awake, crying loudly. Victoria rocks him again but is relieved when Rebecca comes back and takes the baby to his cot.

‘Chrissie, I’d like to talk to you about something if you don’t mind?’ 

What can possibly Victoria want to talk to Chrissie about? She’d better not cause trouble, Robert thinks. He plans to go after them and eavesdrop but is being stopped by his ex wife.

‘Make it quick, I have a lot of things to do. And you Robert better hurry up, I can’t see why you’re still here, you should be helping dad.’

 

Lawrence is sitting in his office, staring at the computer and mumbling something to himself. The door is slightly ajar and Robert observes him for a couple of seconds, trying his best to look the part of the loving fiancé. When he thinks he’s ready, he knock lightly on the door.

‘Come in’ Lawrence is not even lifting his head to see who’s there.

‘It’s only me, I heard you needed help’ Robert says softly, moving close to the desk. ‘I can help you, I need to be more involved in the company now when I’m about to become a part of the family...’

He looks Lawrence deeply in the eyes, to fake the affection is easier with every day that comes. Robert wishes he could keep it at this level and that was the plan from the beginning. But Lawrence with his newly found libido proves a tough match. Robert needs to get his hands on more diazepam, and definitely make Lawrence hooked on the booze again. 

‘You should be resting instead, I’ll deal with this myself.’

‘No, I’m fine, really, I got plenty of rest last night, I’m fine. I need to do something as well, can’t just sit up there all day long. You know I’m a man of action.’

‘My dear boy, if you put it that way... I was hoping to sort the company’s finances before December, we still have a lot of bills to pay and some to claim, I can’t get it to add up though. Maybe you would take a look instead?’

‘Sure.’

Lawrence moves away letting Robert take his place by the desk. The file Lawrence’s been working on is a mess, Robert start sorting the expenses out, putting them in right columns and after a while he’s happy with the result.

‘See, it’s you need to be more structured about this, it looks better now, don’t it? And the prognosis for next year’s not bad either as far as I can see.’

‘I don’t know what I would do without you, Robert. I was actually thinking,’ Lawrence moves closer, patting Robert’s head and playing with the hair on the younger man’s neck ‘I was thinking about giving you a share in the company, now when you’re Seb’s father and soon my husband. So we can keep this in the family. I know you’ve got other job offers but I don’t want you working for someone else. You and me, we can make this work, with my connections and your brains. What do you think?’

‘A share? I don’t know what to say, I...’ playing surprised works better than playing infatuated anyway.

‘You don’t need to say anything, you’ve been my rock these recent weeks. I want you a part of my company and I want you to be a part of my life as well. I hope you know that, my boy.’

I’ll explode if he calls me this again, Robert thinks but instead he says ‘Of course I know. I agreed to marry you, remember? I... I want to be with you.’

‘I’m so glad we’ve found each other in the end, Robert. And I’m really sorry causing you so much discomfort yesterday...’

‘Oh, let’s just forget it, right? I’d like you to sleep in the guest room this night as well if it’s not too inconvenient for you, I’m still in a lot of pain and..’

‘Of course. I won’t push. You’ve been too good to me Robert. We’ve got time for this intimacy.’ Lawrence takes Robert’s hand again, he seems to be obsessed with playing with the younger man’s fingers. ‘I was thinking to go to London and buy us engagement rings sometime soon, would you like to come with me? I think we need to get away from here for a while, there is too much problems around. What do you think? A romantic weekend, my treat, of course. And I would like you to keep quiet about the company, as for now at least. I need to prepare the girls for this before.’

‘No problem, my lips are sealed.’

A weekend away from Home Farm? Why not? As long as Lawrence can keep his hands away from him. And then again, Robert knows he can’t avoid it forever. Soon, when his body has healed, he’ll have no excuse anymore and sex would be unavoidable. He doesn’t want Lawrence anywhere near him at all but it’s long till the summer when the wedding is about to take place. Besides, he’s afraid that Chrissie can put ideas into her father’s head and Robert’s plan to take over the business is going to collapse like a house of cards. An obvious solution is to try to speed up the wedding, taking advantage of Lawrence’s remorse after yesterday and still growing infatuation. And hoping to steer away any talk about a prenup.

‘I was thinking,’ Robert starts, trying to sound a little bit seductive, ‘I was thinking that we could maybe get married in winter instead? A Christmas wedding would be romantic and we wouldn’t have to wait so long.’

‘What a splendid idea, Robert! I was thinking about the same thing but I was afraid to ask you, I didn’t know if you would want to. Oh, a Christmas wedding, we will decorate the house over the top and invite the village, it would be like a childhood dream coming true!’

He’s so excited that Robert almost feels pity for him. Almost. After the rape the other day he can’t wait to bring Lawrence down, the whole family’s got to pay. He could have been happy with Aaron now and instead he’s here, tied up to the Whites again. Well, since he can’t have what he really wants, the second best will do.

 

Later that day, when Lawrence is attending a meeting in Hotten and neither of the women are around, Robert sneaks into the office again. The laptop is not password protected and it’s easy to navigate to the files with compilation of the company’s finances. Robert takes a look and is about to transfer the files into an usb stick when he hears a noise from inside the house. He hurries out of the room, forgetting to shut the computer down.


	10. Chapter 10

‘Money, of course he’s after money. I don’t believe a second in him being in love with dad. I’m not stupid, Victoria.’

Chrissie is drinking her coffee, looking at her wrist watch all the time. ‘I don’t know why you dragged me here, this is nothing new you’re coming with.’

‘No, I know that. And I know you’re angry, especially after Lachlan was forced to move.’

‘This is none of your business, Victoria. It’s enough with Robert stirring up, I don’t want you mixing in my family matters as well.’

The cafe is not crowded today so Victoria feels she can speak without getting unwanted attention from anybody.

‘I have a proposal’ she says. ‘I know you want Robert out of the house and I don’t want him mixing with your business either. I think we should make a pact. Before I say anything more I would just want to ask you if we could keep Rebecca out of it. She’s got enough to do with her baby and I’m friends with her, I don’t want this friendship to be ruined as well.’

‘I can’t promise you anything unless I know what this is all about.’

‘Your father is in love with Robert, I can understand why. He’s young and handsome and confident and he knows a whole deal about business, he’s good at what he’s doing, right? And you just can’t go to Lawrence and say Robert only wants his money, he wouldn’t believe you. But if you think Robert’s only interested in money, I can help you to prove it. On two conditions.’

Victoria pauses, checking if she’s got Chrissie’s attention.

‘Go on.’

‘Whatever the outcome would be, I don’t want you to restrict Robert’s contact with Seb. I know he maybe doesn’t show it, but he loves the baby, I’ve seen the looks he’s giving Seb. That’s the first one. At all costs try to convince Rebecca not to cut Robert out of his son’s life. The other one is that you would soften the blow and don’t let anything happen to Robert when your father finds out. I don’t care how you’ll do it but promise me you will keep him safe. I won’t say more unless you’ve agreed first.’

The reaction comes quicker than Victoria has expected.

‘Deal. I don’t care about this baby anyway. As long as Rebecca doesn’t have anything against it then it’s fine with me. And about the other one... I can’t promise but I’ll try.’

It’s got to be enough, Victoria thinks.

‘Good. Well, I spoke to Robert yesterday, he was claiming that it’s just pure love between him and your father. He knows I don’t believe him. But he wasn’t angry at me when I said it and I think our relation is quite stable. So I was thinking that I would ask him for a loan.’

‘A loan? Where is this going, you’ve lost me here Victoria.’ Chrissie has finished her coffee and is looking around, getting bored.

‘A lot of money that he doesn’t have. I’m planning an adoption you see, and as I single mother I don’t have big chances in the UK. So I have to go abroad and it costs.’

‘You’re serious?’

‘No, of course not. But Robert won’t deny me this. And he’ll get the money. From Lawrence. Without your fathers knowledge, I hope.’

Chrissie is silent for a while, digesting the information.

‘How much?’

‘Two hundred thousand. In the beginning anyway. Not at once, smaller sums escalating.’

‘This doesn’t sound that stupid. But dad’s going to notice the money missing quite soon, it’s a big sum.’

‘You haven’t heard all of it yet. I will need you to cover Robert’s tracks without him knowing if the transfers are too obvious and make Lawrence think everything is in order. I want it to come out when all the money is transferred to an account which you will be in control of course. I won’t touch it.’

‘Why do you think Robert would do this?’ Victoria sees Chrissie is doubting a bit. 

‘Because I’m his sister and he loves me and I really, really want that baby. Especially now when I see Rebecca’s happiness.’

‘Do you think it’s enough? I mean, do you think dad’s going to break up with him for this?’

‘I know how Robert works. Seeing he’s getting away with this will make him go a step further and in the end he will slip and you will help him with that. Because I want you to transfer even more money to the same account so it seems like he’s doing it. Much more than I need for the adoption. So even if he could explain a part of it missing, he won’t be able to explain the rest.’

‘You clever girl, you. But Robert is going to hate you if he finds out you’re behind this. Are you ready to deal with it then?’

‘I am. Something is telling me Robert is not happy being in the centre of this mess. I don’t know what’s going on between him and your father, but for everyone’s sake we need to put a stop to this.’

 

It’s six pm and a cold beer is exactly what Aaron needs. Alex is on call today, they haven’t seen each other so much recently and Aaron is grateful for that. He’d not been in the mood for putting up with more people in his life. His thoughts are circling around one subject, he just can’t let it go. It’s like an obsession, now when he seemed to move on from him, he’d obsessed with Robert again. 

Damn him for the last night phone call a week ago. Damn him for stiring up all the feelings again. And damn him for needing Aaron to rescue him from the Whites. Even if Robert isn’t doing the impression of wanting to be rescued.

‘What are you thinking about?’ asks Chas, pouring him another beer. 

‘Nothing really. Life.’ Aaron smiles. If only he could tell his mum how he really feels. But he knows he can’t, Chas doesn’t want him anywhere near Robert and Aaron can’t say she’s wrong in thinking that way.

‘I haven’t seen Alex much recently, is it okay between the two of you?’

‘Sure, he’s working, that’s all.’

‘And you seem down, do you miss him?’

Does he? There is a lot of positive things about Alex, he’s nice, he cares a lot, he’s gentle and willing, Liv likes him, mum likes him, the rest of the Dingles like him and it’s good to have a doctor in the family. It’s way too little to build an relationship on though. But even if the answer to Chas’ question is no, Aaron can’t admit it, knowing what the reaction would be. So he says nothing instead.

Victoria walks in a while later, she has phoned earlier saying there had been a development. She looks pretty content with herself, ordering a glass of white wine.

‘Shall we sit over there instead?’ she points at a table in the far end of the pub, sheltered from the other tables. Aaron follows, nursing his beer.

‘We’ve got Chrissie in this as well. She’s really upset about Lachlan moving and she agreed to keep Rebecca out of this, just as I want.’

Aaron couldn’t care less about Rebecca but understands why Victoria is eager to spare her the drama.

‘I feel bad about this, I won’t lie to you, if the plan succeeds it could get really nasty. Chrissie has promised to keep me posted about the situation at Home Farm, especially when Lawrence is gonna find out about the missing money.’

‘I’m actually surprised Chrissie hasn’t come up with this plan herself’ Aaron says. ‘I mean she could have done this without us, she doesn’t need us really.’

‘I guess she hasn’t got a time to scheme herself, all she thinks about now is Lachlan. So she’s grateful I’ll be doing the dirty job. I just hope we won’t be putting Robert in danger.’

‘We’ll deal with it then. But not a word to anyone, especially not to mum. She is oblivious of all this, she would never understand why I care.’

‘Not a word. I’ll need to tell Diane though in case Robert will be wanting to talk to her. I haven’t decided yet if I’m gonna tell her the truth or just make up a lie about the adoptions we’ll.’

‘Don’t. Tell her the truth, I mean, she can say too much to Robert by mistake.’

‘You’re probably right. It’s you and me on this then. Cheers to that.’


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leave feedback if you like the story so far :)

‘Have you been to my office, Robert?’

The question takes him by surprise as Robert is chilling on the sofa, zapping through the tv channels. He’s been here all evening, staying up in Lawrence’s bedroom makes him depressed. He will need to do something with it, redecorate, paint the walls, buy a new bed, whatever just so there is nothing there reminding him of the incident from few days before. 

Now he looks up at Lawrence who is standing in front of him, looking a bit irritated.

‘Your office? Yes, earlier, when I helped you. Why?’

‘Someone has logged in on my computer. I don’t say you’re not allowed to, all you need is to ask. That’s all I’m saying.’ The tone of the older man’s voice is friendly, it’s obvious Lawrence is trying to tiptoe around him.

Robert fakes a suprise. If this continues any longer he will soon be ready for a Hollywood movie.

‘No, I haven’t, you know I wouldn’t, not without your permission. But I thought I saw Chrissie going in there before. Ask her instead.’ This is as far as you can get from the truth but it’s his chance to create a rift between Lawrence and his older daughter. It may not drive her out of the house as yet but it’s a start.

He avoids looking at the older man, pretending to be offended. Lawrence doesn’t seem to mind, he steers his steps towards the kitchen where Chrissie is sitting with Rebecca. After a while, Robert hears raised voices and in no time Chrissie is in the living room, furious.

‘What the hell are you playing at?!’ She screams. ‘You filthy little...’

‘Chrissie, stop it!’ Lawrence is few steps behind his daughter and grabs her as she launches herself at Robert.

‘Tell him to stop lying then!’ she frees herself easily but Robert summons all the strength he’s got to move away and avoid the attack. He’s not fast enough though, his aching ribs slowing his movements. Chrissie pushes him so hard, he lands on the floor with a thug.

‘Oh, Robert, are you okay?’ Lawrence almost panics, rushing towards him and helping him up.

‘It’s nothing, I’m fine. That was unnecessary Chrissie, I’m not lying, why should I?’ Robert looks at his ex wife with defiance.

‘Because that’s what you do. Lie and deceit, that’s your thing!’

‘Chrissie, this is inappropriate, stop immediately!’ Lawrence raises his voice now as well. ‘And say you’re sorry, I won’t have you attacking him in my house!’

‘Your house?! This is my house as well!’

‘Be a grown woman then and stop this!’

‘Trust you to swallow every lie he’s coming up with! When will you wake up, dad?! He’s using you and now he’s trying to turn you against me. But fine, have it your way. Don’t come to me later, crying your heart out when he’s dumped you!’

She marches out of the room, slamming the door after her. Robert’s quiet, waiting for Lawrence’s reaction. 

‘I’m sorry, Robert. I don’t know why she got so angry. Did you really see her going to my study? Could you have been mistaken, perhaps?’

Robert shakes his head. He’s started this, he can’t back out now.

‘I have, I’m sure. But it doesn’t need to mean anything, does it?’

‘No. But I’m not happy knowing she’s lied to me. And I don’t know why either. Well, it’s not your problem, I’ll have to deal with her later.’

Robert looks unsure. ‘Maybe it’s better if I moved out for a while? I could stay in the B&B a couple of nights until Chrissie has cooled off? I don’t want to cause trouble for you. We could meet on a neutral ground instead, the same with Rebecca and the baby.’

‘No, my dear boy, you haven’t done anything wrong, you don’t need to move anywhere. I want you by my side. And also you’re still injured, would you be able to take care of yourself? No, you should stay here, I’ll talk to Chrissie, I’m sure we’ll sort this out.’

Damn. 

‘I have a meeting in Leeds in two hours, I was thinking you could go with me if you want? If you feel strong enough, that is.’

‘I’d love to, I need to get out of the house, even if it’s just for a couple of hours. I’m suffocating here and with Chrissie this mad... plus you can fill me in about the company’s financial prognosis for the next year as well, maybe there is something I can be of help with.’

He knows Lawrence can’t resist his smile. Oh, after a rough start this game is getting better and better.

 

Mad is not a right word to describe Chrissie now. She’s not furious either, not anymore. Not even disappointed. She feels deceived. Her own father trusting Robert’s word against hers. Knowing what kind of person Robert is, what he has done to her, to Rebecca and now to Lucky. Knowing all this but disregarding it at the same time.

Chrissie is glad Victoria came to her with the little scheme of hers. The plan is quite simple but it should work. Because as much as her father seems to love Robert, he loves money even more. Besides, he won’t be happy seeing Robert makes a fool out of him. Chrissie own idea to get Robert out of the house is to find someone who would seduce him, make him unfaithful but it’s much more work, you need to have someone willing, for example. So she’s happy not having to make the arrangements, leaving it in Victoria’s hands instead.

One thing she is sure of. There will be no softening the blow. Not after today. No if she can decide. Robert is going to pay for this, he’s going to pay dearly.  



	12. Chapter 12

The phone won’t stop ringing. Aaron fumbles for it in the darkness, knowing is should be lying somewhere close but manages to throw down all that’s been lying on the bedside table. But he can’t find the phone. It’s still ringing, the signal echoing in his bedroom. He must find it quickly, otherwise it could wake up Liv, sleeping in the next room.

He finds it in the end, it’s laying on the floor, close to the bed. A thought flashes his mind that something must have happened, who would call in the middle of the night otherwise? A quick check at the digital clock tells him it’s 03:11 am. And it’s Robert’s phone number on the screen.

‘Aaaaron, Aaaaaron, I know you’re there’ he hears as soon as he has answered the call. ‘Whatcha doin’ Aaaaron?’

‘Trying to get some sleep’ he answers sourly. ‘Do you know what time it is?’

‘Time to confess my loooooove to you. I loooooove you Aaaaaron.’ There is more mumbling and some weird noises in the background.

‘I loooooove you, I miss you, come back to me Aarooooon.’

‘You’re drunk, Robert, go to bed instead.’ Aaron smiles to himself but at the same time he’s getting irritated. Why can’t Robert just let him be? 

‘I’m drunk, yes, I’m drunk... you know what I did today?’ He talks in hushed voice now and it gets a bit hard to understand what he’s saying. 

‘No, but I’m sure you can tell all about it once you’ve sobered up.’

‘I spiked his drink, haha.... so was sooooooo horny and now he’s sleeping like a baby.’ Robert is laughing an ugly laugh and Aaron puts the phone down for a second. This is not a call he wants to receive at three in the morning. This is not a call he wants to receive at all. 

‘You there Aaaaron? Are you there?!’

‘Yes. Go to bed. And stop this, please.’

‘You can’t stop a hurricane... but you know what? I wanna be with you....I don’t want his dirty hand on me, he’s so clingy... I want your hands on me.... I want... I want you... Aaaaron? Don’t hang up, Aaron?

‘Rob, it’s the middle of the night, go to bed. And let me sleep.’

‘Can’t. Feel sick, too much booze...’

‘Then stop drinking.’ 

‘Can’t. I miss youuuuuuu’ 

This is ridiculous, Aaron thinks. Drunk of not, Robert’s got no right to call him saying all those things. 

‘Listen, Rob, you don’t love me, you don’t miss me, you’re getting married next year. We’re done, alright? You ended us. I am still your friend but that’s it. Comprende?’

‘I’m getting married this Christmas.. jingle bells and all that?... Can you be my best man? You are my best man, Aaron.... you... and I... we’re made for each other... just you and I....’

He must be really drunk, Aaron thinks, he’s not listening to a word I say.

‘There is no you and I anymore Rob. Just listen to me and go to bed.’

The line goes quiet and then there is a noise, maybe of the cell falling down on the floor.

‘Rob, you still there?’

‘I’m here. Please, come back to me. Please. I don’t know what to do... please.’

And then the line goes dead.

 

The headache won’t leave him the day after. Aaron couldn’t fall asleep as the call ended, thinking this is no good for him, this is exactly why he doesn’t want to be with Robert anymore. He can’t trust a word the other man is saying. At the same time he’s worried, he wonders how Robert feels, what drives him to get drunk and make a late night call. And the stuff about spiked drinks, it doesn’t sound good.

He’s making coffee as Liv comes down to the kitchen, yawning.

‘Who called you last night? It was ringing and ringing and ringing, didn’t you hear it or what?’

‘Good morning to you too’ he smiles at his younger sister. ‘Want some breakfast?’

‘Just a toast, thanks. But who were you talking to?’

She’s persistent and won’t be easily diverted from this. He can’t really say it was Robert, can he? I wouldn’t go down well. Frustrated that he needs to lie about this to everyone except Vic, Aaron wishes this whole charade ends soon. He needs to move on, for real. He need to stop thinking of Robert and he needs to stop being involved in all Robert does. He had to take his pregnant one night stand to the hospital, for fuck’s sake! 

‘It was someone drunk who called the wrong number. That’s all.’

‘You were talking to this someone quite a while’ she says, smiling innocently,

‘Yeah, I was trying to convince him to go to bed. Whoever it was.’

‘Well ‘whoever it was’ woke me up, I couldn’t fall asleep. Any chance I could stay home from school today?’ Liv is fluttering her eyelashes, probably knowing the answer already.

‘No. And you know that, you need to think about your grades. Don’t even get started, it’s Friday and you’re free tomorrow. So off you go.’

 

He ponders the situation when he’s alone again. The mention of a Christmas wedding disturbs him, if he and Vic want the plan to succeed they need to get going directly. Aaron doesn’t know why Robert wants to speed up the wedding but maybe it’s Lawrence’s idea? Seizing the moment before it’s too late?

It’s hard to say if the call is just Robert’s honest side coming to the surface when he’s drunk or is it something more. If he’s after sympathy then he won’t get any, that’s for sure. But maybe only when he’s drunk, Robert realises that whatever he is doing at Home Farm with a bunch of the Whites is not what he wants?

Whatever it is, Aaron feels that he needs to speak to Victoria. He is pretty sure she doesn’t know about the changed plans for the wedding. He’s about to make a call to her when his phone vibrates. A text.

‘I think I called you yesterday. I’m sorry.’

Nothing else. Aaron taps a quick reply: ‘You okay? Wanna talk?’

There is no answer. When he tries calling, Robert’s phone seems to be turned off. Well, suit yourself Robert. Aaron dials Vic’s number instead.


	13. Chapter 13

Robert’s grateful for the thick curtains, keeping the sunlight away. He feels sick and can’t even get up, the room is spinning uncontrollably. Beside him, Lawrence is still asleep, snoring loudly, his right arm on Robert’s chest. 

He removes it carefully, not wanting to wake the older man up. Last night didn’t exactly turned out as he wished, he managed to get his fiancé drunk on cognac spiced with diazepam but ended up drinking a whole lot himself as well, without the drug, but even so, it was enough to make him teary eyed and missing Aaron. 

Robert can’t seem to remember what happened when he was drunk but didn’t he hear Aaron’s voice? Or did he? Aaron wasn’t here, that’s for sure. But then... oh no, did he call him? In panic, he reaches for his phone and checks the call log. 03:11. Aaron.

Shit. He wasn’t supposed to call Aaron. He’s not supposed to have any contact with Aaron whatsoever. It doesn’t help him, it distracts him. But lying in the bed so close to drunken Lawrence makes Robert think that this is not what he wants. He wants Aaron so much his heart is breaking every time he thinks about his ex. It hurts, almost physically, it’s like a black hole it growing inside him, sucking everything in, making him feeling empty and alone. He doesn’t want this.

He wonders what was said during the phone call, not being able to remember much, apart from Aaron wanting him to go to bed. Did he make a fool of himself? Probably. Robert just hopes he hasn’t said anything to hurt the younger man. He doesn’t trust himself though so he types ‘I’m sorry’, just in case. He’s afraid of what the response will be so he turns the phone off, shoving it under the pillow.

Lawrence stirs in his sleep and it looks like he will wake up soon. Another day with pretending then. Roughly estimated it’s one and a half months till Christmas. Soon they will need to make some preparations, invite guests, decide the menu, think about the decorations... Soon he will be a husband. Not Aaron’s husband. Oh, stop it, Robert, he tells himself, this is not time for self pity. He’s got a plan, he needs to see it done. In an desperate move he take the phone out and breaks it. No more late night calls. No more Aaron.

It doesn’t feel better but hopefully it will. It’s like an addiction, he just can’t let go but maybe it will be easier now. He needs to stay away from the village now as well, he can’t risk bumping into his ex. 

‘I feel terrible’ Robert hears Lawrence saying. ‘How much did we drink last night?’

‘Too much.’

‘Mmmmhhhh, I need to lay off the alcohol, it’s getting out of control. Need a shower, do you want to join me?’

Never in my life.

‘No, I’ll stay in bed, I feel really sick. I’ll come later.’ He doesn’t even need to exaggerate, the room is still spinning and a prospect of being in the steamy bathroom with Lawrence makes him want to throw up.

‘Don’t stay too long, we’re off to London today, we need to pack.’

‘Today? You didn’t say it was today.’ Not that Robert minds but it would be nice to prepare himself to spend three days in Lawrence company only.

‘Well, since we’re getting married this Christmas we can’t waste any time, can we?’

‘I suppose you’re right. Go and have a shower, I’ll come soon.’

It all seems so real now. Robert won’t lie to himself by admitting he’s not having second thoughts about this whole business. He does. How long do you need to be married to get a divorce? And on what ground should he require the divorce? The easiest way would be to claim Lawrence is violent and abusive. How do you turn a person into an abusive monster? Because Robert’s sure his word against Lawrence won’t be enough, he will be needing witnesses. Not good with the older man wanting to stop drinking either.

He’s interrupted in his thoughts by Lawrence himself coming out of the bathroom, a towel around his waist.

‘It feels much better now, go and have a shower yourself, I guarantee it will help you. Go on, Robert, we don’t have all the time in the world.’

‘Give me a second, I need too...’

Robert doesn’t have a chance to finish the sentence as Lawrence grabs him by the hand and drags him out of the bed, pulling him into an embrace. 

‘Ouch’ Robert hisses as his damaged ribs protest against this sudden movement.

‘’Oh, come on Robert, you’re young and fit, aren’t you getting better yet? I think it will do you good to change the surroundings a bit, I can’t help but notice that you don’t seem entirely happy here.’

‘It’s not that, it’s just a lot of things happening recently, I told you... I’m looking forward to a weekend away.’

‘Then come on, get going. I haven’t told the girls about moving the wedding yet so let’s keep it secret for a while, shall we? We can tell them when we’re back.’

‘It’s a lot of secrets you want me to keep, Lawrence, sometimes it feels like you’re ashamed of being with me...’

‘What a silly idea. I just don’t want them upset, that’s all. Now, come one, since you’re still in pain, I’ll help you shower.’

There is no escape as Lawrence leads him to the bathroom. Oh, Sugden, you’re digging your own grave now, Robert thinks. But he complies as Lawrence drags his boxers down and pushes him lightly into the shower cabin. The hot water feels nice as it hits his body, Lawrence’s hands lathering him make him cringe. The older man doesn’t see it though as Robert is cornered at the farthest end of the cabin with his back turned to Lawrence. How did it come to this, he can’t even shower alone. Will it be like this for the rest of his stay here? No privacy whatsoever?

‘I like this. I’ve never... I’ve never been so close to anyone as I am close to you, Robert. There is a bubble bathtub in the hotel room, we should bathe together. I really turns me on seeing you covered in foam.’

It makes me wanna puke, Robert thinks. 

‘Shouldn’t we get going then? I think I’m clean now or what do you think? I mean we don’t want to be late, do we?’

‘Turn around and let me have a look.’ The smirk again. 

Robert does as he’s told, almost slipping on the wet floor. 

‘Let me see, I think you need some more washing...’

Over my dead body. And stop smiling, please, stop smiling. I’ll throw up all over you otherwise.

‘No, it’s enough, really. I mean... we need to pack... I can do the rest myself, you can go and pack, I’ll join you soon.’

‘If that’s what you want. Be careful, it’s really slippery here.’

Robert lets out a sigh when Lawrence has left the bathroom. He takes more shower gel, trying to scrub off the unwanted feeling of someone else’s hands all over his body. It’s hard to block it all out this time, he’s still hungover and can’t help feeling that maybe it’s time to abort the whole thing. Maybe he should just come clean about his intentions? Hearing Aaron’s voice last night makes him want to go back to the village and plead with his ex to give him another chance. He knows that what he’s doing is wrong, right now it feels even more wrong as Robert can’t shake the feeling of being a cheap whore, doing whatever it takes just for money. It’s tearing him apart, if only he could bring Lawrence down without the older man touching him. 

He steps out of the shower, wrapping the bath towel tightly around his waist. One look in the mirror and he sees someone he doesn’t really recognise, bloodshot eyes, black and blues all over his chest and a dissatisfied face expression. Had he known how much this would cost had he never taken the step into this madness. A little part of him has already decided that this is it, he needs to stop, what he needs to do now is to convince the vindictive and greedy side of himself.

Lawrence is nowhere to be seen so Robert puts his clothes undisturbed. Is he ready to give up the money, living without ever having to worry about the job or the bills? And what will happen with Seb, how is Rebecca going to react? Maybe it’s better to just tell Lawrence he’s got cold feet about the wedding and needs some space? Well, he won’t make a decision now, he will have time to think it through once they’re in London. He doesn’t need to put a pressure on himself, it’s gonna turn out alright, no hasty choices here.

They are ready to go after breakfast, bags packed, lying neatly in the car. Robert is already sitting behind the steering wheel when another car is pulling into the driveway. Vic’s car. What is she doing here?

‘Are you going away?’ she asks, getting out of the car. 

‘We’re off to London for the weekend.’

‘Oh. Do you have a minute, I need to talk to you. It’s important.’


	14. Chapter 14

He’s standing in front of the door to Lawrence’s office. The house is empty, Rebecca and Seb are with Vic, Lawrence in Leeds and Chrissie probably in Hotten. It’s his chance now, Robert knows he can’t miss it.

He opens the door hoping the laptop is there. It is password protected now but he knows the password, having seen Lawrence typing it. “Christmas17”, so pathetic actually. 

He laptop is sitting in the desk, and it’s easy to log onto the company’s bank account and transfer ten thousand pounds to the account number Vic has given him. Then it’s just to add the sum to the company expenses’ file and hoping Lawrence is not so thorough. He backdates the transaction, filing it between two others. With a bit of luck he will soon be in charge of the expenses, than this would be just a piece of cake. 

Robert doesn’t really understand why Victoria is in such a hurry with the adoption. It’s the first time he hears her mention it at all but, as he tells himself, he hasn’t got much time for his little sister recently. He knows she’s longing for a child of her own and he can’t really deny her that, especially now when he can help with the costs of the adoption. Or, Lawrence can. This means that Robert needs to reevaluate the plans for the future and put up with it a little bit longer but maybe it’s for the better? He had second thoughts the other day and the trip to London didn’t make him feel better about it but he can’t back out now, can he? It’s not just about the vendetta anymore, it’s about his future, Seb’s future and now Victoria’s future as well.

London was a disaster, from Robert’s point of view anyway. Avoiding Lawrence at all costs resulted in the older man getting almost offended and an argument hanging in the air. It took a lot of convincing, declaring his love over and over again, giving the older man massage and then agreeing to spend a whole afternoon in bed, with kiss and make up sex. Twice. With Lawrence being more and more adventurous, as if he had spent his whole life fantasying and now, finally, he could put the fantasies into action. Proving he was a real man, proving he could fuck like a real man. Whispering the dirty words into Robert’s ear, putting his knee on Robert’s back every time the younger man tried to get up and get a break.

‘You’re not going anywhere’ Lawrence was saying in a teasing voice. ‘You’re mine and mine only.’

He awoke the beast, he wouldn’t get himself free so easily now.

Robert was glad for the bubble bath later on, where he could jus sit and scrub himself clean. He was close to give up then, chuck it all out, the money, the power and the satisfaction of winning over the Whites. He wished he could just call someone to come to London, kick in the door and get him home. He felt so small sitting in the bathtub, the door not even locked and the prospect of Lawrence coming in any second overwhelming. But the thought of what was at stake kept him put.

He’s looking at the thick engagement ring Lawrence bought for him. It has replaced the ring that he and Aaron... No, he really needs to stop thinking about Aaron. Even though he had tears in his eyes when he switched the rings, putting the old one in his pocket. It’s hanging on a chain now, under the shirt, close to his body. Robert can’t really let go of it, the ring being the last thing he’s got left of Aaron. 

He wonders what Aaron must be thinking of him. He couldn’t care less about the gossip in the village, talking about him whoring himself out for the money, they would stop once he’s the one with the money. But Aaron... Aaron will never look at him with love and respect, Robert wonders if he will ever talk to him again at all. Maybe once the divorce is through he will move from here altogether? Because seeing his ex casually in the village, living a life with someone else entirely, marrying someone else, getting kids with someone else is more than Robert would ever be able to cope with.

Well, he’s got his own wedding to think of now. The White family is quite big and Lawrence has been opting to invite the whole bunch but Robert’s not sure it’s a good idea. They were at his and Chrissie’s wedding for a couple of years ago, it would feel strange inviting them to this one as well. The closest family and friends from Lawrence’s side and the closest ones from his own. He almost laughs thinking about who he can count as close family and friends. Vic, Diane and Doug as Diane’s plus one. That’s all. No friends. No one to call if he really needs help. Vic’s got her own life, treating him now as a diary cow that you can milk for money. It sounds harsh but why is she coming to him as soon as he has established his position here again? Why won’t she go to the bank instead? He doesn’t mind lending her money but he feels like she’s using him.

Diane? Since the relationship between him and Lawrence has become public, she hasn’t contacted him. Not a single word. Robert doesn’t count on Doug either, he’s not even family.

And whose fault is it? He can’t really blame all the others, can he? Robert knows he’s a master of pushing people away, screwing up in the end every single time the things are getting a turn for the worse. Not being there for Aaron when he was in prison, jumping in bed with Rebecca as soon as he thought it was over, not being able to stop feeling pity for himself, looking for a quick fix every time, even if he ended up ruining other people’s lives along the way. No wonder he’s got no friends.

And that’s just why he can’t feel sorry for himself now. Quitting what he’s doing now won’t get him more popular, he’s way past that. He needs to continue, squeezing out every single penny of this situation. No one else cares about him anymore and he can’t care about anyone else either. It’s about him now, what he wants and what it’s a reach if he just endure this mess a little bit longer. No more self pitying, no more second thoughts. He’ll help Vic getting the money but it’s over after that. He’s alone in this.

 

‘You should have seen him’ Victoria is upset, no question about it. ‘He’s not well even though he’s trying to hide it. I just don’t get why he wants to rush this wedding, it’s so obvious he doesn’t love Lawrence.’

Diane sips her wine, thinking carefully what to say not to hurt Victoria with her words. They are at the pub, it’s Victoria’s lunch break and she feels like she will explode if she won’t talk to someone about it.

‘You know, love, Robert is Robert. He is greedy, we’ve seen it over and over again. He just can’t stop.’

‘But there are other ways to get the money, he’s got brains, he doesn’t need to do this.’

‘I know Victoria and I am not buying this whole being in love thing either. No one in the village does, believe me. Funny that Lawrence doesn’t seem notice what everyone else say about it.’

‘Blinded by love or whatever. I don’t even want to think if they...’

‘Having sex, you mean?’ Suddenly Chas is by their table, taking their empty glasses. ‘He’ll shag anything that moves for the money, of course they are having sex. Quite gross if you’re asking me.’

‘Well, nobody asked you so keep your opinion for yourself’ Victoria fires back, close to tears. 

‘There, there, no need to be offended. But you know it’s Robert we’re talking about, aye? Jumping from one bed to another, he’s with Chrissie, then with Aaron, fucking Rebecca and then with Aaron again and now with Lawrence and it hasn’t even gone a year since the little wedding he and Aaron had. It’s repulsive, that’s what it is. And now he’ll be getting married again. Keep away from him Victoria, that’s my advice.’

‘He’s my brother, I just can’t cut him out!’

‘Suit you. But no good will come out of this, mark my words.’

She’s gone before Victoria has got a chance to reply. 

‘He’s ruining it for himself’ Diane says, matter of factly. ‘Do you want me to talk to him?’

‘I don’t think it would help. I tried, Aaron tried, we aren’t getting anywhere.’

‘Has Aaron spoken to him? I didn’t know they kept in touch?’

‘Briefly, when Lawrence announced that they were getting married. No one seem to get to him, that’s what I’m worried about.’

‘I’ll talk to him. We need to keep an united front on this and show him we care and the destructive behaviour needs to stop right now. Maybe he’ll listen to me. Jack did and Robert is not as unlike Jack as he would like to think himself. Now, you were saying something about an adoption....’


	15. Chapter 15

It’s Lawrence idea, this family dinner, inviting Diane, Doug and Victoria, trying to ‘get to know each other now when we will be family again, soon’. Robert doesn’t want any of this, he doesn’t want pretending in front of them, playing the role of a loving fiancé, feeling like some expensive trophy. But he’s got no choice, Lawrence is so thrilled about this idea. Chrissie and Rebecca are with Robert on this one, surprisingly, but Lawrence wouldn’t listen to the either. Robert knows the older man feels disappointed by his daughters, mainly because of their reaction to the news about rescheduling the wedding. 

The date for the grand dinner is set, the menu is decided and it seems like Lawrence is treating this like a rehearsal before the wedding itself. Well, so be it, as long as it keeps him occupied and away from the company’s finances. 

It’s been a lot easier to transfer the money into the account number he’s received from Vic, than Robert has ever thought. It feels almost too easy and Robert wonders sometimes if Lawrence is aware of what he’s doing and testing him to come forward before disclosing him and throwing him out. He almost hopes that’s the case sometimes. Well, if Lawrence knows what’s happening, he’s not showing any of it. 

The day comes eventually, Robert’s got no choice but to put a suit and a fake smile on. He greets his family at the door, wondering what they make out of all this. One look at Victoria’s face and he knows she knows where the truth lies. 

Chrissie has been jumpy all day, having been in Hotten before and now sits by the table looking bored and dissatisfied. But she’s made an effort at least, even Robert must admit she looks stunning in the long, red dress. He wonders what is it that’s bothering her and keeps his fingers crossed she can behave today. The last thing he wants is family drama.

Rebecca with Seb in her arms hugs Victoria as she enters the dining room, good to see the two of them get along so well. Good to see Seb is meeting his family as well.

‘I’m glad you could come here today’ says Lawrence when they are all seated by the table. There is personal serving the appetisers and Robert hopes that with a little effort this evening can be a pleasant one. Maybe it’s not so bad having other people to talk to and he knows no one will try to talk him out of the marriage here, today. ‘I was thinking that we can make this into a tradition, a family gathered like this. As you all know, family has always been the most important thing to me...’ He puts his hand on Robert’s shoulder, squeezing it lightly. The grimace that flashes through Robert’s face doesn’t escape Victoria’s eyes as she gives her brother a quizzical look. He smiles at her reassuringly. 

‘I hope ,’ Lawrence continues ‘that you all feel welcome here. Robert’s family is my family now and I will do all in my power to keep the good contact between the Sugdens and the Whites.’

‘We are very thankful to be invited here’ says Diane in reply. Robert wonders if it really is the case or if she’s jus courteous. ‘I hope you and Robert will be happy in the life you have chosen.’ She looks at her stepson, giving him a smile. She could have put knife in his gut instead.

After the main course is served, the whole company moves to the lounge for coffee. Diane and Doug chats with Lawrence and Robert is standing alone, nursing a glass of wine. He sees Victoria steering her steps towards. He’s not in the mood for talking to her as he’s almost sure it will be about the money. It’s devastating how little support his family is showing to him, playing by Lawrence’s rules, all of them. He knows he’s to blame, he knows he’s been lying and pushing them away but somewhere deep inside there is a flicker of hope that they see right through him and how unhappy he is. An evening like today it’s even harder to pretend, with all eyes on him, nowhere to hide, faking a smile after a smile until his jaws hurts. So when Victoria pats his arm gently, asking ‘How are you really?’, he’s taken by surprise, almost dropping the mask.

‘I’m fine, of course I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?’

‘Because you don’t look the part. I know you Rob, I know this is not you.’

‘I’m fine. I’m living my dream, yeah? You jealous?’

He doesn’t even know why he’s being so snide, this is not at all what he wants to say. But if he says what he really wants to say, he’d be lying broken, in a sad heap on the floor.

‘I don’t believe you. I don’t believe that conning people is your dream, Rob.’

‘You don’t seem to have a problem with taking a piece of this cake yourself. So don’t judge me, don’t give me this bullshit, Vic.’

He almost hopes he’s hurt her, even if what he’s saying isn’t exactly the truth as she can’t know he’s stealing for her. 

‘Well, hope you’re happy with yourself then.’

‘I am. If only you knew.’

Lawrence appears after a while with a glass of scotch to himself and one to Robert. There are drinks served and the rest of the family seems to enjoy the evening. Robert pours out the contents of his glass when no one’s looking, he really doesn’t want Lawrence anywhere near him tonight. Seeing the older man is getting more and more drunk, makes a him smile a bit. See who will have the upper hand tonight, he thinks. It makes Robert feel good to regain a little bit of control, it needs to stay this way. It’s like a stone lifting from his chest, if only for a while. Every day he makes through is a day closer to the wedding and closer to the divorce. And every time he manages to avoid Lawrence in the bedroom is a small victory.

Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea with this evening, Robert thinks. Maybe...

But he doesn’t have a chance to finish the thought as there is a noise of a breaking glass coming from the living room.

He and Lawrence are closest to the door so they are first on site. The big arched window is broken, glass lying all over the floor in the dining room. And in the middle of it, there is Lachlan, holding a shot gun.

‘Put this down, Lucky’ Lawrence says in an authoritative voice.

Lachlan point the gun at him, a wicked, ugly smile on his face. ‘I don’t think so, grandpa. Who should I shoot first, you or him?’ He points the gun at Robert, taking a step towards the two men.

‘Do as your granddad says, Lachlan. Don’t make this worse for yourself.’ Robert is trying to mediate even though he’s sure Lachlan won’t listen.

‘You do as he says, it’s you being his little whore. I do as I want. And now,’ he looks at the women and Doug entering the room. ‘And now, I want to kill you. Nice to see I’ve got an audience here.’

‘What the hell are you doing, Lucky, put this down at once!’ Chrissie is almost by her sons side when he fires a shot at the ceiling. Seb starts to cry and Rebecca hurries our of the room, taking an advantage of the mayhem that is taking place there and no one paying attention to her.

‘I want him dead. Him or grandpa!’ He fires another warning shot and everyone takes a step backwards. Chrissie is the one left by Lachlan’s side.

‘I’ve got it covered’ she says. ‘Just put the gun down and go. I’m sure no one wants to call the police if you just leave now, huh? I’ve got it covered, Lucky.’

What does she mean?, Robert wonders. What is it she’s got covered?

‘No way, mum, we’ve been playing by his rules way too long.’ The gun is pointed at Robert again and Lachlan’s getting closer to him now, taking small steps all the time. The shotgun looks like a semi automatic which means there are probably around two to three shots left. If only he could distract the kid somehow, Robert thinks. 

‘You scared now?’ Lachlan is at an arms length now, the barrel of the gun touching Robert’s chest. ‘Anyone moves now and I’ll shoot him right here.’

Robert looks around the room, searching for his son as he doesn’t hear the baby cries anymore. To his relief he sees neither him nor Rebecca. She must be fetching help, this will be okay, he just needs to stay where he is, trying not to enrage Lachlan even more. He tries not to think about the scar after another gun that penetrated his chest all those years ago. The scar has faded but the memories are still there and he can almost feel the pain of the bullet ripping into the tender flesh. He needs to get himself together now, it’s really not a good time to panic.

‘I asked you a question!’ Lachlan is shouting now, pressing the barrel with a fair amount of force. Robert’s heart beats wildly, he can almost hear it. 

‘Yes’ he whispers.

‘I didn’t hear that! Did anyone else hear it? Did you?’

In the corner of his eye, Robert sees Victoria crying silently, Diane is patting her back.

‘Say it again so everyone hears! ARE YOU SCARED?!’

‘Yes! Yes, I’m scared, okay?’ Taking deep breaths doesn’t help, Robert’s knees are shaking and he’s afraid he’ll lose self control. Where is the police, they should be here now.

‘Good. Good, Robert. That’s exactly where I want you. Now, get on you knees. And don’t try anything. On your knees and face the wall.’

Two things happens before Robert’s got a chance to comply. They all hear the sirens of the police cars and the see the flashing lights. And, taking advantage of Lachlan letting his guard down for a second, Robert sees Chrissie trying to grab the gun from her sons hands. He’s taken by surprise but holds it tightly and they fight for it for what seems like minutes but must be seconds only. The gun fires out and suddenly Robert feels something sticky running down his right leg. With the last bits of consciousness, he registers Victoria running towards him, screaming. He hits the floor and then there is nothing.


	16. Chapter 16

It’s a dull evening. Dull and depressing, it’s cold and windy outside, Liv’s moody and Alex insist on playing scrabble. Who the hell plays scrabble nowadays? Aaron sucks at this and doesn’t feel like socialising today but he goes along with it, having a bit of a bad conscience about not giving Alex enough time recently. 

He loses two times out of three, being left with a lot of f’s and c’s and r’s all the time.

‘As if I could speak Welsh’ he laughs. ‘Can’t we just do something else, you have proven your point, you are good at this and I’m not.’

‘What do you want to do instead? Watch a movie? We could order pizza and I think there is some good costume drama at BBC One, I don’t remember what it’s called...’

‘Yeah, whatever. Or we could just go out and grab a beer?’

‘We were out yesterday, Aaron. And the day before. And day before that. And I seriously don’t know why you’re dragging me out to the pub when it’s Victoria you’re end up talking to.’

He seems hurt and Aaron can’t help thinking that it won’t get better than this. The two of them simply don’t have anything in common. Maybe it’s just as well to end it right here? And spare Alex the broken heart? 

Aaron is gathering his courage as he is picking up the letters of the scrabble game. He takes the box upstairs, putting in on the shelf close to the wardrobe. Jeez, it’s so dusty here, it’s been a long time since someone’s been cleaning here. It must have been when he and Robert had a early spring cleaning before the breakup. Soon it will be a year since Robert lived here. A year.

He goes down thinking that he is not exactly where he would want to be. It seems okay on the surface but deep down inside there is the hunger for something else entirely. For someone else. When he comes down, Alex is standing in the middle of the room with his jacket on.

‘You’re gonna get that pizza?’ Aaron asks. ‘They can deliver here, otherwise.’

‘No, I need to go to the hospital. There has been a shooting in Home Farm and casualties are on the way. All hands are needed, sorry Aaron but I must go at once.’

Aaron goes suddenly pale. Victoria is at Home Farm. Diane and Doug are at Home Farm. And, what’s more important, Robert’s there too.

‘Do you know what happened? Who had been shot?’ Aaron’s afraid his knees won’t hold.

‘No idea. Just got the preliminary rapport, they are preparing for a lot of patients, there’s been a party there apparently.’

‘I’m coming with you.’ 

‘You don’t need to, it’s gonna be a long night.’

But Aaron doesn’t listen. He’s up the stairs again, knocking on Liv’s door and telling her not to wait for him, he’ll be off with Alex to Hotten General.

‘You don’t need to go with me’ Alex repeats as Aaron in down in the living room again. ‘Oh... it’s about Robert again, isn’t it? He’s there, right?’

Sod the pretending, Aaron reckons. This would have come out sooner or later. Him and Alex are history, it’s not worth playing this game anymore. In the light of what’s happening, the fling between him and Alex seems so unimportant, Aaron sees exactly what it is for - filling the massive hole after Robert, pretending to be something that it isn’t. Because, face it, there is no one who could ever take Robert’s place.

‘Yes. Robert’s there. And Vic. And Diane and Doug, these are my friends and I want to know what’s happening. But it is about Robert, I don’t know how...’

Alex looks away and lets out a heavy sigh.

‘I see. I should have known, shouldn’t I? You must really love him, I’m... I wish you both luck if you ever are going to get together again.’

‘I’m sorry Alex, I never meant to end it like this, I...’

‘It’s fine, really, I was half expecting this for some weeks... But we must go now so get dressed if you want to follow, we don’t have much time...’

 

There is a smaller crowd at the A&E, nurses, polices and doctors, people running and Alex is being dragged into action at once, he doesn’t even has a chance to say goodbye to Aaron. The younger man is left by himself, trying to get some information on who is the victim of the shooting and where are they but as just a family friend, he’s given no information at all. He wanders around, more and more anxious, when he thinks he spots Victoria sitting with someone at one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs. Her dress is covered in blood, there is blood smeared in her face and she’s sobbing uncontrollably. Aaron runs to her, kneeling beside her. Diane is the one sitting in the neighbour chair, holding Vic’s hand.

‘What happened?!’ Aaron almost screams. 

‘It’s Lachlan... he... he just broke in.... started shooting....’. Victoria doesn’t seem to be able to say anything more, she’s shaking, clutching her dress.

Diane is calmer although looks shaken up as well. ‘Lawrence was throwing a party and Lachlan broke into the house with a gun. He shot Robert and Chrissie.’

Oh god, no. Not Robert.

‘Where is he?’

‘At the station, I suppose.’

‘Is Robert at the station?’ This doesn’t add up, what is she saying?

‘No, Lachlan. Robert’s in the theatre, he got shot in the right leg, they are operating on him now.’

A leg. Maybe it’s not that serious then?

‘Is it bad? Did they say anything?’

‘He’s lost a lot of blood, love, we don’t know. Victoria tried to stop the bleeding but it was just gushing out, the ambulance personal said that the bullet hit the femoral artery.. it didn’t look good.’

Aaron takes a deep breath. He needs to find Alex, he needs to know what’s going on. 

‘You said he shot Chrissie as well?’

‘Yes, minor flesh wound, she got into the ambulance herself. Robert though... we thought we will loose him, we can still loose him, Aaron.’

That’s definitely not what he wants to hear right now.

‘I need to go, I’ll try to find Alex and get some info. Wait here and take care of her’ he points at Victoria who’s still in shock.

 

It takes a while but he sees Alex in the end, tired, his clothes bloodied. By Robert’s blood, Aaron thinks. Jesus, how much blood did he loose exactly?

‘Thank god I found you, I need to know what’s going on.’

‘I’m not exactly supposed to tell you as you’re not his family but I can’t be cruel to you. He’s alive, has just been wheeled into the operation theatre, they will be trying to save his leg. The right femur is shattered, I suppose it will take some time to piece it together. There’s the blood loss as well, he’s received three units already. I won’t lie to you saying he’ll be fine because he’s still critical. But they are a good team and he’s young so he’s got a chance to pull through this. But I can’t promise you anything, Aaron. I’m sorry.’

This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening. 

‘We’ve found this on him, he had it around his neck, under the shirt. We had to remove it before the operation and I was thinking you would like to have it as I have seen a matching one at the Mill.’

He hands Aaron a ring on a thin, silver chain. Robert’s wedding ring. Aaron’s legs can’t hold him any longer and Alex catches him as he sinks to the floor. This is just too real, it’s not toying with a thought of a life without Robert, Aaron may never see hem again. Ever. It can’t be, it’s just can’t be. I wasn’t supposed to end like this, they had a plan, didn’t they? Fuck Lachlan, fuck the Whites and fuck Robert for not knowing when to stop, breaking every rule! Why did he have to go back to Home Farm, why couldn’t he just stay away from this cursed house?! If he dies here, Aaron will never forgive him, he will never forgive himself, but Robert can’t die, he can’t die...


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I won’t lie, I was toying with the idea of killing him... just kidding ;)

It’s the sharp pain that brings Robert around. The pain comes in waves, causing nausea every time it peaks. It’s everywhere, in every cell of his body, it’s penetrating itself right through him, making him feel like there is nothing else, only pain. Then it subsides, giving him hope it will disappear and when he thinks it’s over, the pain comes with double the strength. He can’t breathe either, there is something in his throat, he’s suffocating and then there is air being pushed into his lungs again. The sounds around him seem vaguely familiar but he’s not being able to name them. 

He can’t even move, he feels paralysed but he knows he needs to get up, he needs to get help, Lachlan is shooting, he needs to get himself free and call the police...

Robert opens his eyes but instead of the lavishing interior of Home Farm, he sees a white ceiling and something hanging above his head. Where is he? What’s going on, where’s Vic, where’s Seb?! The thought of his son being in danger makes Robert panic and wanting to get out of here, but he can’t, he can’t do anything. He’s frantic now, where is he, where is his family? He tries to speak, shout, whatever, but the only thing that happens are the sounds around him intensifying. 

Suddenly, in the far corner of the room there is some movement and then there is someone by his side, a face he doesn’t recognise.

‘Shhhhh, you shouldn’t even be awake now. You’re on ventilator so just relax and let it do its job. And wait a sec, I’ll just increase the dose here, you’ll won’t feel a thing soon. Now, just close your eyes and go back to sleep, we’ll wake you up when you’re ready.’

He wants to scream that he can’t sleep, he needs to save his son, she’s got to let him go but there is this strange sensation spreading from his right arm through his whole body and soon he’s out again.

 

Next time he wakes up, there are voices, shouting, louder and louder, a high pitched female voice and a baritone. They just argue and argue and argue and then there is a door slamming somewhere, then it all becomes quiet. 

Robert doesn’t feel much now, he feels confused but the bed is so soft and someone’s stroking his cheek, he sees a pair of concerned brown eyes so he drifts off to sleep again. 

 

There is someone else in the room when he wakes up the third time, there is another smell, something he recognises, a smell that he finds comforting in a way. Not so far from his bed there is a silhouette sitting by the window, a familiar shape, Robert’s sure he knows who this is but he just can’t concentrate, it’s all so fuzzy, his head hurts, his leg hurts, he’d do warm it feels like he will melt down and that’s all he can think about now. 

Whoever it is, is getting up, coming towards him, standing by his bed.

‘I’ve never thought I’ll see you again.’ It’s a man and he’s got tears in his eyes. Robert wants to ask why, but his throat is so dry he can’t get out a word.

‘You gave us a scare, Rob.’

And then, suddenly he knows, he remembers all, the shooting and Victoria’s dress and the red blood and Seb not being there... what was he? Where is he, where is his son? 

Robert tries to signal he needs to move but the pain intensifies and the panic strikes again. It reflects itself in the other man’s eyes and then there is an unfamiliar sound, a loud beeping. Suddenly the whole room fills with people, talking, touching him, there is something cool against his forehead and then he’s out again.

 

‘Robert? Robert, do you hear me? Open your eyes for me, will you?’

Another voice, a one he’s never heard before. Someone shining a torch in his eyes, he doesn’t want it, he just wants to sleep.

‘Robert, it’s time to wake up. Open your eyes.’

His eyelids are so heavy but the tone of the voice seems so authoritative so he does as he’s told.

‘Good. Do you know where you are?’ The owner of the voice is a female, elderly, who is she?

He tries to speak but he can’t, his throat still dry.

‘I’ll give you some water, just wait a minute.’

There is a thin straw placed in his mouth and the water tastes so delicious, drinking it is the far most pleasant feeling in a long time.

‘Better? Can you speak?’

‘Think so.’ He’s scared of the sound of his own voice, it’s raspy but weak, it doesn’t sound like him.

‘Do you know where you are?’

‘No.’ He’s got a clue, of course he does but he’s not sure. Maybe he’s dead and this is hell? The pain in his leg seems hellish anyway.

‘You are in a Hotten General Hospital, Robert, you were shot, do you remember?’

Shot. Yeah, he got shot but wasn’t that ages ago. Or was it? He’s not sure, he’s not even sure if he really is awake. 

Someone holds his hand and when he looks up there is this older man there, Lawrence? Was his name Lawrence?

‘You are still on very heavy painkillers and antibiotics so you may be little confused. But you are safe now, you’ve been shot and now you’re in hospital. Okay?’

‘No. Where’s Seb?’ Robert feels his panicking again, all of this just seems so wrong and then the touch of the other man’s hand, he doesn’t want it, he wants to free himself but lacks the strength.

‘Seb’s fine’ the man is saying. ‘Everyone else is fine, it’s you we are worried about.’

‘He’s fine?’

‘Yes, don’t worry, you’ll be able to see him soon. Rest now, I’ll be here.’

He closes his eyes and drifts back to sleep.

 

‘You’re not supposed to be here, you know? Just make it quick, they’ll fire me if they find out. It’s strictly family only.’

‘I’ll just wanted to see him, give me five minutes, okay? Alex, please.’

‘Five minutes, that’s all.’

The familiar silhouette again as Robert opens his eyes. He knows who it is but he can’t believe that Aaron is really here. Aaron is here with Alex, why is Alex here? 

‘Robert?’ Aaron comes closer. ‘Are you awake?’

Robert looks at him and directly there is a huge smile on Aaron’s face.

‘Don’t you ever scare me like this, promise?’

Why did he scare Aaron, what has he done now? 

‘I’m sorry. Whatever it was, I’m sorry.’ He doesn’t want to scare Aaron, he doesn’t want to be the one causing concern.

‘You got shot, your idiot. You haven’t actually done anything but I thought you would die.’

‘I’m glad I didn’t. Die, I mean.’

Aaron laughs, it’s so good to hear him laugh.

‘Me too. Listen, I can’t stay any longer, I’m not allowed in but I just want you to know that I... I’m really glad you’ll be okay. I mean... I hope we can talk once you’re better and...’

He doesn’t want Aaron to go, why can’t he stay? 

‘Don’t go.’

‘I have to, it’s family only here, they don’t want having crowds visiting. But once you’re feeling better I can visit, can I?’

‘You’re family.’ Robert doesn’t want to be alone again, why can’t he decide who stays and who goes?

‘I’m not. Not anymore. Lawrence is here somewhere, he’ll be mad seeing me here.’

Lawrence. He’s almost forgotten. Lawrence will be his closest family soon. The thought makes him feel anxious and trapped in something he doesn’t want. It strikes him that this is it, it’s now or never. He won’t have this chance again.

‘I don’t want Lawrence’ he says quietly, afraid to look at Aaron, afraid of what is he going to say. ‘I want you. I don’t want anyone else.’

‘Rob, I don’t think you’re thinking clearly, you’re still on drugs, I..’

Alex sticks his head through the door ‘He’s coming, you need to leave now.’

‘We’ll talk once you’re better. I’ll come back, I promise.’ And then he’s gone.

 

‘Good to see you’re awake’ Lawrence says, putting fresh flowers in the vase beside Robert’s bed. ‘I was talking to your doctor, they will take you off antibiotics soon, you seem to recover well from the fever.’

‘Fever? I thought I got shot?’

‘You got shot, yes, but you developed an infection after the surgery with high fever and they were ready to amputate your leg. Luckily, you pulled through, thank science for antibiotics.’

‘I don’t remember. I don’t remember much, actually.’

‘Of course you don’t, dear boy, you were hallucinating and then lost consciousness. But the most important thing is that you are on the mend now. We will have to postpone the wedding though. Well, maybe it was never meant to be a Christmas wedding anyway.’ He smiles, taking Robert’s hand in his.

This is just too much. He doesn’t want any wedding, Christmas or not. Seeing Aaron before makes him think about his ex boyfriend only. He doesn’t want anyone else. But he’s so tired, he can’t take a fight now, he just wants to sleep.

‘I was thinking... Robert, are you listening?’

‘Can we take it later? ‘M tired.’

‘Of course. Sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up.’

Don’t, Robert thinks before his eyelids are too heavy to stay open.


	18. Chapter 18

‘What do you mean it was a mistake?! What is that supposed to mean?!’

Lawrence is so angry he’s shaking. But Robert can’t pretend anymore, right now he just doesn’t care what happens, he just want Lawrence out, it’s enough with being stuck in the hospital and the pain and feeling so incredibly weak. He just can’t put the mask on and pretend everything’s okay. It’s not, it hasn’t been in days. He wants to be comforted, he wants to know there is someone who really loves him and has got his wellbeing in their mind, who will be there for him no matter what. Lawrence is as far from this someone as possible.

Maybe it’s reckless admitting the truth, maybe it will cause even more trouble. But he just can’t keep the track in the lies he’s told, he doesn’t even remember all of them, his mind still clouded by the drugs. And it costs, it costs a lot. 

‘Are you playing me, Robert? Because it’s not funny!’

‘I’m not. I’m sorry, I just can’t... I want this to stop. I should have stopped this a long time ago but I didn’t. I don’t want to live in a lie, I can’t live in a lie anymore. Not like this. I’m so sorry.’

A powerful slap lands in his face. He deserved it, he’s telling himself. He deserves worse.

‘You should be glad you’re in hospital bed. I would have shredded you otherwise! What was it for you, huh? A scheme?! Making a fool out of me?! You... you made me think we had something special! And all the time, all the time it was only money you were after? Do you know what that makes you?! Do you know what that makes me?!’

‘I said I was sorry... listen, we could just say it was mutual, the break up, if you want we could say I didn’t work...’

‘More lies, huh? You say one thing and mean the other. You’ll never change, Robert Sugden! You should have died right there on the operation table, spare others to have to deal with you! And do you really think that someone would want you know? You just wait and see, the whole village will find out about what you’re capable of. And forget seeing your son, it’s not going to happen!’

‘No, Lawrence, I beg you, it’s not his fault that I... just please, please don’t do this. He’s got the right to know both of his parents, it’s not his fault I screwed up. Please.’

A bitter laugh escapes Lawrence’s lips. His eyes look unforgivably on Robert. ‘You can beg, yes. To no avail. Forget that you will see him again.’

‘Don’t do this. Lawrence, he’s all I’ve got left, just please, I’ll do whatever you want but you can’t take him away.’

‘I won’t.’ Lawrence’s face is just inches away from his. ‘Rebecca will. For the sake of the kid. She’ll be protecting him from the likes of you. He’ll be so much better without you.’ 

‘Let me talk to her, let me just...’

He puts his hand on Robert’s injured leg, pressing it down lightly. 

‘Ouch, stop this!’

‘Stay away from them, is it understood?’ He applies more pressure and Robert feels tears welling up in his eyes. 

‘Stop, it hurts!’ The pain becomes unbearable and just as he’s ready to call for help, Lawrence takes his hand away. 

‘Stay away from them. You stay away from our family. This is my last word.’

As he leaves the room, Robert collapses on the bed, unable to stop shaking. The tears are just flowing, he doesn’t even make an effort to stop them. His leg feels like it’s on fire but he is so weak he can’t even reach the alarm button. 

A nurse finds him almost unresponsive half an hour later and the next few days are spent in a haze again. 

 

‘You should press charges for this, he hurt you, Rob, you’re lucky he didn’t cause more damage.’ Victoria is adjusting the pillow behind Robert’s back. She can’t hide the anger, you don’t just go and attack a person in a hospital bed, no matter what.

‘And what good will come out of it? There are no witnesses either and he could as well claim I did it myself. No, I just want to forget this whole thing. If it wasn’t for Seb I would never even consider approaching them again.’ 

‘They won’t budge, will they?’

‘No. And it’s my fault, I know it is, so don’t give me that look. I’ll have to find a way, I’ve got rights too as a father and I won’t give in.’

‘Let them cool down a bit, maybe? It’s just too much that’s been happening recently and with Lachlan behind bars now, I suppose Chrissie blames you for that as well?’

‘I didn’t pull the trigger, he did. I don’t get it though, you know, I’ve been having these flashbacks and I remember clearly Chrissie saying she got it covered. I just can’t make any sense out of it.’

Victoria seems shifty but before she’s got a chance to say anything, there is a knock on the door and two uniformed policemen enter the room.

‘Mr. Robert Sugden? You are under arrest for fraud against mr Lawrence White. You don’t have to say anything and if you do it may be used in court.’

‘Oh no, this is a misunderstanding’ Victoria rises up from the chair. ‘Let me explain...’

‘And who are you, miss?’

‘I’m Robert’s sister. I think I know what this is about and it’s not what it seems to be.’ 

‘If you have any information that could be of use, you should contact the DI in charge. Mr Sugden, you will be detained here until you are feeling well enough to be moved to the custody. A police officer will be placed outside the room and this’ he takes out the handcuffs ‘will be used as a precaution.’ He chains Robert’s right hand to the bed.

‘Hey, wait a sec, he’s seriously injured, you can’t be thinking he’d do a runner, can you?!’ Victoria screams.

‘It’s standard procedure. The medical staff here has been informed, they will work closely with us. That also means you have to leave, miss. Only the lawyer will be allowed in, if you don’t have funds to hire a lawyer, the state will provide one.’

‘No, no, no, you’ve got it all wrong.’ Victoria protests as she is being lead out of the room. ‘I’ll fix it Rob, I’ll be back, just hold on.’

Robert’s so stunned he’s completely silent. In all of this mess he’s totally forgotten about the money. And he knows Lawrence won’t forgive him for this, not when it’s so obvious he’s the one that’s been stealing. He’s not even paying attention to what Victoria is saying as he watches his whole life dissolving here and now.


	19. Chapter 19

Aaron can’t believe what he’s hearing, it’s also hard to make sense of what Vic is saying as she’s visibly upset.

‘I talked to them, the police, and explained how the whole scam should have looked. They didn’t believe a word I said. I mean, Robert didn’t take the money, not really.’

‘Where did he transferred them then? And how much? Where are they now?’

‘It was Chrissie’s account they went to, she renamed it so he wouldn’t suspect anything. And now Lawrence claims Robert has taken the money. What have we done, Aaron? He’ll go to prison for this, he’s not in a state to go to prison. The Whites have just told him he won’t see Seb anymore, he’s breaking down and now this. And it’s our fault.’

‘I can’t see any other option than you or me or us both talking to Chrissie. If it’s her account she’ll be on trial as well if this goes to court. But I don’t think she will let this happen.’

‘No, but she will have to explain it to Lawrence, he won’t be happy knowing what’s been going on.’

‘He’s not happy not knowing either. You know what I think? I think we’ll go to them and tell the truth. I can’t do more damage now, can it? If he knows it was a way to prove Robert was just interested in money, maybe he’ll take the charges back? It’s not like Robert has taken anything for himself here...’

Victoria thinks about it, what Aaron is saying makes sense. 

‘Okay, I’ll talk to Chrissie first, if I don’t succeed we’ll go to Lawrence. Okay?’

‘Sound like a plan.’

 

Considering how furious Chrissie sounded on the phone earlier, Victoria is surprised she’s even being let in to the Home Farm. There are no other Whites around, thankfully.

‘Did he send you here to plead his case?’ Chrissie asks directly, not wasting time on small talk.

‘No but you and I had an agreement, remember? Robert’s being accused of theft but he hasn’t stolen anything, not really. You’ve got the money and you should come clean to your father?’

‘And why should I do that? Why should I help this little viper you call your brother? He’s done nothing else than ruining everything for my family. Why should I help him?’

That’s definitely not what she’s supposed to answer, Victoria thinks. 

‘Because it was a part of the deal. I don’t want to mess up with you and trust me, I want this to end once for all, but I will come clean to Lawrence if you won’t make him drop the charges. I’m not sure you want your involvement in this revealed? Or do you?’

See who’s cocky now, huh? 

‘And I promise to keep Robert away from you in the future.’

‘Make him drop charges against Lucky, then we can talk. Otherwise I’ll find a way to discredit everything you’re saying, dad will listen to me, not to the bunch of you. A case for a case, Victoria.’

‘I’m not sure Lachlan’s going to go free even if Robert takes his statement back.’

‘Leave that to me. Make him drop the charges and first then I’ll have a word with dad.’

Is it wise to trust her? Victoria wishes she’s got Aaron here with her, someone to consult it with. But there is no one and it’s up to her now. One thing is sure, she can’t let Robert go to prison, he deserves scolding for the mess he’s made but no prison. 

‘I’ll talk to him.’

 

 

It takes a whole deal of negotiating to be let in to Robert’s hospital room. But in the end, thanks to the lawyers hard work, she’s in.

It’s been almost a week since she’s seen her brother last and Victoria is shocked by the change of appearance in his looks. When she was here the last time, Robert was tired and in pain, but he seemed ready to fight and go on with his life. The person lying in the hospital bed now looks like someone who has given up. And even if Victoria knows it’s not entirely her fault, she is aware she has put a brick to this wall as well. The problem now is how to break it to her Robert, not causing more distress along the way.

‘Hiya’ she says softly, taking a chair beside his bed. ‘How is it going?’

‘Good. It’s been good, really. I’ve tried putting some weight on the leg yesterday, it’s working fine. It hurts but I could take a few steps.’ He’s not happy though, knowing what that will mean. ‘So I’ll be transferred soon, I suppose.’ 

‘Listen, it may not come to that. I’ve been talking to Chrissie. There is a chance they will take the charges back.’ She waits for his reaction before she says more. She might be mistaken but there seem to be a flicker of hope in his eyes.

‘In exchange for what? Is it Seb? Because in this case it doesn’t matter, if I can’t see him I can as well be behind lock and key.’

‘No. Lachlan. You won’t press charges for the shooting and they won’t press charges for the theft.’

‘Is it really that simple? Why haven’t they said it earlier then?’

Victoria takes a deep breath. She needs to come clean, she needs to get this off her chest. The chance is, Robert will never ever want to see her again after this, but then, so be it. 

‘I need to fill you in, but I’m not really sure where to start.... Do you remember telling me you thought it odd that Chrissie said something about having it covered?’

He nods.

‘Well, meanwhile you were scheming to take over Lawrence’s company, me and Aaron were scheming to get you out of Home Farm.’

She pauses, waiting for a reaction. None comes so she continues.

‘Aaron came to me after the wedding plans between you and Lawrence were made public. And he told me about... he told me about Lawrence raping you few days before that. Don’t be mad at him, he was worried about you and tried to help.’

Robert goes pale and his right hand is clutching the fabric of the duvet tightly. 

‘You... you knew?’ he chokes out. 

‘Yes. And we came up with a plan...’ 

 

He doesn’t know what to say after Victoria has stopped talking. It’s overwhelming, Robert’s not sure if he is mad at his sister and Aaron or grateful. Or both. It strikes him that no one ever has gone to any extremes to do something for him. Just for him. Not longer than two weeks ago he thought that his family had given up on him. And he was acting accordingly. But this, this he could never have expected.

‘You’ve gone quiet’ Victoria says, matter of factly. 

‘I’m not sure... I’m not sure what to make of it. But I suppose I should... I suppose I should thank you both. For thinking about me, I thought everyone gave up on me... I thought I had nothing to loose.’

‘Rob, I’m your sister, your closest family, of course I wouldn’t do that. I don’t believe you even considered that. And I blame myself for not acting sooner, I should have come to you directly after Aaron had told me what had happened. I shouldn’t have let you stay with Lawrence. I’m sorry, Rob.’

‘You know I wouldn’t listen. I had my mind set on taking over the company, I wouldn’t listen.’

‘Did he hurt you in any other way? You can tell me, I won’t share it with anyone if you don’t want to.’

He’s caused enough concern already, Robert thinks. No need to worry her more. It wasn’t like he was putting up resistance either, was he? He never said no after the first time. He complied whatever Lawrence wanted to try. He can’t claim anything now and it’s no point telling anyone. He’s on the verge of tears, thinking about the days at the Home Farm. Right now, put into right perspective, it was a horror, even if Robert still has got it hard to admit it, even to himself. But it’s over. It’s finally over.

‘No. It was okay. But I wouldn’t do it again, I wouldn’t put myself through it again. And I hate myself for what I did, I...’

‘Come here’ she says, pulling him gently into a hug. I feels so good to just let go, feel the warmth of another person, knowing that there is someone who cares, there is someone who loves him.

‘I’m sorry, Vic. I’m really sorry. I just don’t expect others to care about me.’ He’s crying openly, unable to stop the tears. They are cleansing, in a way, it’s him letting someone else share the burden at last.

‘It’s gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay. I’ll take care of this.’ She’s holding him close and he doesn’t want to let go, he just wants to stay like this forever.


	20. Chapter 20

It feels like he’s just fallen asleep when the phone rings. It’s lying close to him and the ringing tone echoes in his skull. Aaron openes his eyes and looks at the display. It’s a number he doesn’t recognise. He answers, hoping this is no salesman from the other side of the globe, trying to scam him.

‘Could you... could you come to the hospital?’ It’s Robert. Scared by the look of it.

‘Rob, what’s wrong? Are you alright?’

‘No. Please, come.’

‘What’s going on, are you feeling worse?’ This freaks him out, Victoria said Robert was making progress, there was no risk of any infection now and with the charges dropped yesterday. Aaron is allowed to visit soon.

‘Just come, please.’ There is some noise in the background and then there is another voice on the phone.

‘Is it Aaron Dingle I’m talking to?’ A female, a nurse? A doctor?

‘Yes, what is it all about?’

‘I am a nurse on duty and we had a situation here a while ago. I understand Robert is a friend of yours?’

What it this all about? What situation?

‘Yeah, he is a close friend. Is he okay?’ Aaron is sitting up now, looking at the bedside clock. It’s not later than 11:20 pm.

‘He is fine now but suffered a small breakdown earlier. He can’t sleep, he needs someone to talk to. It’s nothing serious so don’t get worried. He’ll be glad if you could come.’

‘I’ll be right there, tell him I’m on my way.’ Aaron’s already out of the bed, looking for a matching pair of socks.

‘I will. Drive carefully.’

 

He doesn’t, of course, he drives like a maniac instead, not knowing what to expect. In the corridor outside Robert’s room, he is greeted by an older nurse, smiling at him warmly.

‘You must be Aaron’ she says. ‘We don’t usually call relatives this late if it’s not an emergency but I just couldn’t watch him sitting there alone and crying. He hasn’t been feeling well today, he’s in a lot of pain, he started to take small steps in the last few days and putting a strain on the leg hurts in the beginning. He’s not complaining much but you can tell, you know? So he’s on stronger painkillers and he feels a bit sick and I just think he’s lonely. He hasn’t been sleeping well either but refuses to take the pills, I don’t think it’s good for him. No sleep, no healing. He’s been crying all day today and in the end I asked him if he wanted me to call someone. And then he broke down he asked me to call you. I hope it’s no problem for you.’

‘No, of course not, you did the right thing.’ Aaron’s relieved it’s nothing serious, in his head he has already made up a scenario with Robert lying gravely ill or the police turning up again... ‘Can I go in?’

‘Of course. Call for me or one of my colleagues if there is anything you need or if he needs some assistance.’

‘Will do.’

Aaron opens the door to Robert’s room and steps in. It’s quite dark there, the only light coming from a smell bedside lamp. Robert is upright and looks up, startled. 

‘It’s only me’ Aaron says, approaching the bed. ‘It’s been a while.’

‘I’m sorry if I woke you. You don’t need to stay if you don’t want to... I just wanted to see you, focus on something positive for a change.’

He’s not looking at Aaron now, his eyes down, his fingers playing with a loose thread from the duvet.

‘Has something happened, Rob?’

‘Lawrence was here yesterday. To say Rebecca has left, taking Seb with her... He was half insinuating that I could see my son one last time if I... I don’t think he was even being serious, he was probably just messing with my head but I... no, just forget it alright, I shouldn’t have said anything.’

‘Robert, what did he say? Is it what I think it is? Did he want you to sleep with him again if you wanted to meet Seb?!’ Gosh, this definitely not what Aaron has expected. 

‘I would have agreed if he was serious. But then he just laughed and left. And I... and I can’t just shake off the thought that this was maybe my only chance, you see... And now I’ll never see my son again.’ 

Robert is still not looking up. His eyes are red from crying all day. ‘It’s like he’s taking his revenge now. And he knows exactly where to hit and he’s right to do it.’

‘Robert, you can’t seriously think it would be a good idea. Not after what he’s done to you.’ 

‘He hasn’t done anything! Can’t you see?! I said no once and then I just came back for more! I agreed, Aaron! I would have agreed to more if Lachlan didn’t shoot me! I slept with Lawrence countless times, he was rough and demanding, yes, but I complied. Every single time. He did whatever he wished for and I never let him know I really didn’t want it. He called me his little whore, he whispered humiliating words in my ear every time he fucked me and I didn’t protest. Not once. Don’t you see?! You all think I was a victim here but I wasn’t, not really. I tried to scam him, take his money, throw him out of his own house at any cost. I sold myself, that’s exactly what I did. I sold myself and a part of me is sorry I didn’t succeed, alright? Because that’s what I do, I screw people over and damn the consequences. And I can’t promise I won’t do it again, I’m scared I will do it again. I can’t... and now I will never see my son and it’s my fault entirely.’ 

This is exactly what Aaron has been fearing since he’s got the first phone call from Robert, all those weeks ago. He’s cursing himself for not acting directly, then and there and is hoping it’s not too late yet. At the same time he’s glad it all comes out, that Robert’s got a need to talk about it, that he’s not holding it all inside. He takes Robert’s hand in his, patting it gently. He’s got to fix it, once for all. 

‘Robert, I don’t think you were in a good place when you went back to Home Farm. You were lonely and hurt and blaming Rebecca and her family for our breakup and I think that’s why you acted how you did. But I don’t really believe you would have done the same if you were okay then. Because I know you, you are not a bad person, you’re maybe a little lost now but hey, we’ll get through this, okay?’

It’s the first time Robert looks up at him. It’s disbelief in his eyes and shock too. But since the decision has been growing on him for days, it’s easy for Aaron to voice it out now.

‘We? You said ‘we’...’

‘Yeah. I guess I can’t let you out of sight now, huh? So, if you want, we can start over here and now and...’

He stops talking as Robert can’t hold back a sob. ‘You’re not doing it because you pity me, are you?’

‘Of course not, you idiot. I’m doing it because I love you... and because I can’t live without you. And I’m so mad at myself for not realising it until you were in danger and I hope you can forgive me...’

‘There is nothing to forgive’ Robert interrupts him. ‘Not from my side, anyway... But I need to know, to really know if you’re ready for it. Because if you doubt it will work, even a little, it’s just better if we don’t take this step. Not now when I’m... What I’m trying to say is... I don’t feel good with myself now, Aaron. I despise myself sometimes just to feel self pity a second later. I wouldn’t want to be with me if I was someone else. I mean it. So I don’t want you to... I don’t want you to get disappointed again if it won’t turn out as you expect it too. I don’t want to break your heart again. And I don’t want mine broken either...’

‘I know what I’m getting myself into, Rob. I know what to expect of you, we’ve been through the variety of it, haven’t we? And if only we are honest with each other, no lies, no scheming, it will work out fine. I’ll see to it and you’ll see to it. We’ll be fine. Messed up so much there’s enough for half the village to share with, but fine anyway. So, what are you saying? Will you be going back to the Mill when they have released you from here?’

‘I wouldn’t want anything else.’ 

Aaron gathers him in a strong embrace and Robert cries and cries until there are no tears left. His head is resting on Aaron’s shoulder and he holds the younger man so tightly as if his life depended on it.

‘But we will seriously have to do something with this self hate, Robert. You can’t go on like this. I’ll help you, I promise, trust me, I know it’s hard but the sooner you started talking about this, the better.’ Aaron says, stroking Robert’s back.

‘I know. I will. I just need to process it all inside my head first. It still feels likes some kind of a bad dream with me being the monster.’

‘And that’s exactly why you should talk to someone. You’re not the monster. Even if you don’t see yourself as a victim, he still raped you. You still said no. And that’s all that counts, yeah? It wasn’t your fault, drunk or not. It was his fault. What happened later is a whole different story and we’ll deal with it too, but stop blaming yourself for this. I’ve been there, I know it’s hard and maybe it seems like a mountain too high to be worth climbing on, but we can climb it together if you want. I’ll be there for you if you let me.’

Robert holds him even tighter, reluctant to let go. 

‘What have I done to deserve you? I don’t deserve you, Aaron.’

‘Nonsense. I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you. You’re far much better person that you give yourself credit for. Never forget it.’

‘You have no idea how much I was scared of this conversation...’

‘I might have a clue, the nurse said you’d been crying all day. I really hope it feels better, even if it’s just a little better.’

Robert releases the grip and there are fresh tears in his eyes. Remembering what the nurse said earlier, Aaron asks if he’s in pain and when the answer is yes, he presses the button. The same nurse comes in a little while later.

‘How are you feeling?’

‘He needs painkillers’ Aaron answers instead for Robert. ‘And if you could fetch some sleeping pills? Don’t you dare to protest Robert, you need to rest.’

‘I’ll be back in a second.’

Half an hour later, Robert is fast asleep, a peaceful look on his face. Aaron makes himself comfortable in the armchair beside the bed, thinking that the journey they’ve just begun is going to be a tough one. But they will make it through. Together.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, yeah, I just couldn’t resist the last one.

They’re out of milk. It’s a cold January day, the winter holding the country in its grip. The snow has been falling since yesterday and it seems like they’ll be snowed in soon.

‘If you want to get out you’d better do it now’ Aaron says, looking out through the window. ‘Soon it won’t be possible to even open the door.’

‘Surely it can’t be that bad?’ Robert looks sceptically at him. ‘It’s Britain, not the North Pole.’

‘See for yourself. It’s now or never.’

Robert joins him by the window, putting his arm round Aaron’s waist. ‘Shall we go then?’

‘We’d better. You need help with anything?’ 

‘No, I’ll manage. Bring me the crutches, that’s all.’

Aaron fetches them, handing them over to Robert. It’s been two weeks since Robert’s came back to the Mill from the hospital and they are getting their life together back on track. It takes time and a lot of effort, dodging the sneer comments from some of the villagers, handlings Liv’s and Chas’ wariness of Robert but it’s moving forward. Aaron didn’t realise how much he was missing Robert until they were together again. 

Robert has started counselling, he’s not a big fan of it but he knows it needs to be done. He’s eager to put it all behind him, the sooner the better. The only problem remaining is Seb. Although various attempts has been made to contact her, they still don’t know where Rebecca and the baby are and the rest of the Whites aren’t saying a word. Robert has hired a lawyer and Aaron hopes there will be a breakthrough soon. It’s like they are in a bit of a limbo now and Aaron sees that this is not having any good impact on Robert.

‘We can as well stock some more food, if this is going to continue, we’ll be stuck at least over the weekend.’ Aaron says, putting his jacket on. ‘Ready, mr Hobble?’

‘Ready’ Robert smiles. 

The cold wing hits them directly as they leave the house. It would be easier taking the car, Aaron thinks but he knows Robert is eager to walk as much a possible, he’s not doing well being disabled by the cast on his leg and the crutches. He’s too hard on himself too, trying the speed the healing process up, pushing it just a little too much, the stubborn sod. Aaron is keeping track of the painkillers his boyfriend is taking, not wanting him to get hooked on them as the pain increases every evening after Robert’s been straining his leg too much. 

They walk slowly towards ‘David’s’, Aaron looking out for any irregularities on the ground, warning Robert in advance. He misses a slippery patch himself though and lands on his bum, swearing.

‘Shit! We should have ordered the food online instead’ he mutters, getting up. Robert is laughing his head off as Aaron falls again, the patch bigger than he thought.

‘You’re just grumpy. We’re soon there. And who’s mr Hobble now, huh?’ Robert says, seeing Aaron limping along.

‘It’s not funny, I will have a black and blue the size of Wales on my ass.’

‘I think you’ll live.’

‘Watch out you too, a misstep and you’re back on the sofa for the next couple of weeks.’

‘You wish. I watch my step.’ Robert says proudly.

‘Yeah, only because I walk before you and check. Don’t be so cocky, you wouldn’t survive a second here without me.’ 

They are close to the shop and it strikes Aaron first now that if they want to buy more groceries they will have to get the car. It’s impossible to balance on the icy ground with heavy bags.

‘We’re a bunch of idiots’ he says, mostly to himself as they go through the door. ‘You go and tell David what we want and ask him if he could help you. I’ll get the car. You okay with this?’

‘Of course I’m okay. What do we want?’

‘Food, Robert. Milk, bread, veggies? A steak for tea? I don’t know. Just pick something, I’ll be right back.’

Aaron leaves his boyfriend behind him, hurrying back home. It’s easier to walk having only himself to think about. Maybe it’s wasn’t their most brilliant idea to shop today. 

He can’t find the car keys initially so it takes a while before he’s back at ‘David’s’. When he walks in, he sees Robert standing exactly in the same spot Aaron has left him in. But he’s not alone, Lawrence is just inches away.

‘Oh, I see your knight in his shining armour is back to defend you now!’ the older man says in a mocking tone. ‘I wonder what does he pay you with for your... hrmmm... services. Since he’s got no money, I mean.’

‘What is this all about?’ Aaron becomes angry. He comes closer to the two men, taking a place by Robert’s left side.

‘Just leave it, Aaron’ Robert says quietly. ‘Just leave it and we’ll go home.’

‘I won’t go anywhere without knowing who gave you the right to offend us here?! Aaron is furious. How dare Lawrence even approach them after all that’s happened!

‘Getting angry, are we? The truth hurts, Aaron, you should know it by now.’

‘Your truth in not necessarily our truth. And if you really want to hear our version I’ll be happy to share it.’ Aaron says, looking around him. There are a few people in the shop, he spots Pollard and Ross among them. ‘I suppose there police would be interested in it as well.’

‘Leave it, Aaron’ Robert whispers. ‘Please, just... I don’t want...’

‘Yes, just leave it Aaron’ Lawrence keeps mocking them. ‘Robert here is getting jumpy. I’m not sure he wants the truth out, or how is it, Robert? We’ve heard from your lawyer, by the way. Funny thing, you seem to think you’ve got some rights and you’re threatening with court. You should find a better lawyer if you want to get somewhere with this, if you want an advice. Now, let me pass, I’ve got a company to run.’

Robert puts his hand on Aaron’s shoulder, stopping the younger man from interfering even more, he seems to be stressed by the whole situation. As Lawrence passes them by, he kicks one of the crutches and Robert lands on the floor with a loud thug.

‘You bastard!’ Aaron screams as the door closes after Lawrence. He kneels beside Robert, checking him over.

‘It’s nothing, just help me up.’

‘It’s an assault, we should...’

‘No, I said. Just help me up. Don’t make a big deal out of it, it won’t help. Please, Aaron.’

Biting his tongue not to say what he really thinks about this, Aaron grabs Robert around his waist, dragging him up. ‘Did you hurt yourself? How’s your leg?’

‘I’m fine, I don’t think I hurt it more’ comes a reply followed by a wince. 

‘What was that about?’ David steers towards them with two bags filled with food. 

‘Nothing, just forget it.’ Robert smiles weakly and Aaron sees directly that this ‘I’m fine’ was a bit euphemistic. 

‘Custody battle and bad blood’ Aaron says. ‘Thanks for helping with the groceries.’

 

Robert is in pain the rest of the day and Aaron is pushing for going to have an X-ray done.

‘It’s nothing the painkillers can’t take care of’ he hears in reply.

‘But your leg could have been damaged, Rob. Why are you so stubborn? Why do always have to be so stubborn?’

‘Isn’t that’s why you love me?’ Robert smiles, swallowing the pills.

‘Not when it makes you suffer. And why don’t you want to report this? We’ve got witnesses, it’s really not okay what he did.’

‘I just don’t think it will change anything. And the less we’ve got to deal with Lawrence, the better.’

‘We are going to bump into him sometime, you know that. And Chrissie. And Lachlan. They can’t just go around offending us, calling you names...’

‘They’ll forget it soon. I hope. I don’t have any extra strength for this right now, okay? I just want to focus on getting my son back. The rest is unimportant. I’ve got to ask you about something though.’

‘Fire away’ Aaron makes himself comfortable on the sofa with a cup of tea. Robert sits carefully next to him.

‘Earlier today when you threatened Lawrence with revealing the truth... you didn’t mean it, did you? Not there, in front of everyone?’

‘No and I’m sorry if it caused you any distress. I just wanted him to back off. But I’ll think twice next time, I promise. I was out of order but I got so angry when he came with the accusations. But I won’t say anything unless you want me to.’

‘Good. I was just nervous, maybe one day I’ll be ready to go public with it, but not now, not yet.’

Aaron puts his arm around Robert’s neck. He feels the older man sigh with relief and relax a bit. He hopes the painkillers will do their job and that the evening will be a calm one. 

Robert rises up carefully and limps towards the kitchen. ‘I can make dinner if you want. But I think we forgot to buy the milk.’


End file.
